Superheaven - Selfish lyrics

The end is far away. Not getting too much sleep these days. These things I can't explain. Just wishing for an early grave, but they don't understand me. I wanna be selfish. Only reason I'm still alive, Can't stand to see my mother cry. I'll suffer through. Only reason I won't die, Can't stand the tears in her eyes. I'll be home soon. The saddest thing is, it's the only thing that I want. I wonder sometimes why I don't just give up and take my life. And they have no idea, that I'm so close to my dying day. I hate this feeling. There's no healing. There's no coming back from this hell. (I wish that I could make you see) (I wish that I could face today) I want to be free from this.