I'm a Christmas Unicorn, in a uniform made of gold With a billy-goat beard, and a sorcerer's shield, and mistletoe on my nose Oh, I'm a Christian holiday, I'm a symbol of original sin I've a pagan tree, and a magical wreath, and bow-tie on my chin Oh, I'm a pagan heresy, I'm a tragical Catholic shrine I'm a little bit shy, with a lazy eye, and a penchant for sublime Oh, I'm a mystical apostasy, I'm a horse with a fantasy twist Though I play all night, with my magical kite, people say I don't exist For I make no full apology for the category I reside I'm a mythical mess, with a treasury chest, I'm a construct of your mind Oh, I'm hysterically American, I've a credit card on my wrist And I have no home, or a field to roam, I will curse you with my kiss Oh, I'm a criminal pathology with a history of medical care I'm a frantic shopper, and a brave pill popper, and they say my kind are rare But I've seen others in the uniform of a unicorn just like me We are legions wide, and we choose no sides, we are masters of mystique For you're a Christmas Unicorn, I have seen you on the beat You may dress in the human uniform, child... But I know you're just like me Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... I'm the Christmas Unicorn You're the Christmas Unicorn too I'm the Christmas Unicorn (Find the Christmas Unicorn) You're the Christmas Unicorn too (It's all right, I love you) Love, love will tear us apart, again Love, love will tear us apart, my friend