Sudden d**h - A Christmas Tail lyrics

My generation has been labeled with a big ol' X Along with it came a stigma of a big ol' hex That we're all into all kinds of self mutilation Body piercing, tattoos, and scarification But I like to find better things to do Although I do pop the occasional pimple or two I never really cared for that other stuff 'Cause for me my emotional scars were enough I decided long ago that I wouldn't treat My body like a walking wall of graphite So imaging my surprise when I awoke to find A tattoo of a heart right on my behind It was the day after Christmas and all through the house Everything was a mess, I even found a dead mouse The stockings were ripped off the women on the floor Who were pa**ed out drunk from the party the night before The house was a wreck, I had seen enough It'll take me all of next year to clean up I'd been planning this party the whole month of December It looked like fun, I wish I could remember God, what a pain in my a**, I hate cleaning Something on the back of my sofa is steaming I don't wanna know what they did to my cat And speaking of a pain in my a**, what's that Ow, what the Hell, where did this come from It's a feeling like somebody shot me in the bum I got so drunk I can't remember a thing I don't know what this is, but man does it sting Into the bathroom I rushed like a flash Tore open my pants and examined my a** And on my left bu*t cheek, about an inch wide Was a little red heart with a name inside V.. vi.. Vicky? Vvv...vihh.. Vixen? Who the Hell is Vixen? I don't remember anybody named.. Wait a minute, it's starting to come back I remember a fat guy in red and black He showed up to the party 'bout a quarter past twelve With a whole enterage of reindeer and elves Lookin' like he had broken some strange s** laws My party was crashed by Santa Claus That's the only small detail I recall Besides that I don't remember nothin' at all I know Vixen is part of his reindeer crew But now I wanna know what'd the two of us do Just what went on, how far did it go On second thought, I think I'd rather not know Something tells me that I should avoid it 'Cause I don't wanna hear that I might have enjoyed it I cleaned up the house, tried to clear my head I took a shower and cleaned all the fur off my bed I got rid of anything that could possibly remind me I just wanna put this whole thing behind me I will always regret that happened that night That little tattoo has ruined my life The sight of a heart still gives me a chill And I don't wanna mention my psychiatrist bill I sort of understand but I'm kinda sore That my friends don't wanna come around no more My girlfriend left me and I had to move And I eventually got the damn thing removed Someone suggested that I change my religion I thought about it, and came to a decision I because I Druid because I thought it'd be nice And now I practice free s** and human sacrifice I'm haunted by the incident night and day And now Christmas is only a few weeks away But this year I'm ready, I'm not gonna run 'Cause I went out and bought me a big shot gun I'm-a wait up all night in my living room And if Vixen comes in then she's gonna go boom I'm gonna spike the milk till it's 190 proof I'll start a fire in the fireplace, put land mines on the roof I'm not gonna repeat what happened last year I ain't goin' nowhere near another tiny reindeer She better understand what I'm talkin' about 'Cause that's one piece of tail I can do without