Sudden d**h - The Adventures of Mr. Long lyrics

Mr. Long is a man unique in his kind He's a Chinese superhero in his own mind He thinks he's a s** god, he rarely has a date Mr. Long is a man traumatized by fate His first name is Hung, with the last name Long I heard it, Hung Long, that may have to be a song Please forgive me I ramble and I sound like a liar I'm just k**ing time while my clothes are in the drier People greet him nicely then they bite their tongue 'Cause they all say the same thing, "So, how are ya, Hung?" Well, maybe they'll open their eyes And see Long is a man who needs to be lobotomizd Horny as hell and I know what's up He loves to play games, I guess he never grew up Red Rover, Red Rover, nobody will bend over So he plays another game called The Hunt For Miss October Competitive at this, no contest, he'll win it He should try out for a spot on the One Arm Olympics If you wanna be like Long, for a game you're yearnin' Just drop your pants and do the Pee Wee Herman [Chorus] Find a wife, get a life, do something You're just wasting away, what more can I say You're gettin' all excited over nothing He's been dissed since the day he was born, it's a fact His mother told the doctor "He's not done, put him back" He got picked on by his girlfriend, wouldn't play the game I guess he didn't live up to his name Hung Long has pick-up lines, he made up a few you bet But a slap in the face is all he manages to get He told a girl she's the boss and he's applying for a bit And did she have any openings that he could fit He thinks he's Superman, it's gone to his head He's faster than a speeding bullet when he's in bed One girl almost married him, that's a fact But when a gay lover sued, that was the end of that Nowadays it's still not real in his brain He has dreams of condoms breakin' from the strain He had a blind date once, but his plans were spoiled He thought she's look like Bo Derek, she turned out like Olive Oyl So he doesn't do that anymore He just makes his weekly trip to the corner store Doesn't worry about back talk or worry about a scuffle He's perfectly safe doin' the old Knuckle Shuffle [Chorus]