Sudden d**h - Internet Love Connection lyrics

[Verse One: Tom Rockwell - Sudden d**h] All of my life I've been called a geek A loser, a dweeb and a side-show freak All the other kids picked on me quite a bit Except for the ones who preferred to hit Always hated gym cla** cause I wasn't athletic I was bad at everything, I was really pathetic When we played this one game I always got my a** kicked .. you know the one with the ball, and you throw it in a basket Rumors used to circulate that I was queer I held the school record, most wedgies in a year But I was pretty popular amoung the jocks I mean someone had to carry all their dirty sweat socks Needless to say that I didn't date much OK, so I've never had a "date" as such Most girls don't wanna be seen with a geek Had a date for the prom, but she sprung a leak College was fun but my s** life s**ed I studied computers, now I'm makin big bucks It was there that the love of my life and I met Just me, my little mouse, and the internet [Chorus] When the real world lets you down And it seems like love can't be found Don't go psycho like Genghis Kahn Just log on... [Verse Two: Tom Rockwell - Sudden d**h] I started out tame, lame right off the bat Mostly girls in bikinis, and stuff like that Of course that all changed when I found a good source Of pictures of a guy with two women and a horse Hours at a time, thirty pictures at once All the p**n I could handle for twenty bucks a month I didn't think my life could possibly get any better My favorite was a site featurin an irish setter But all of that changed when I got an e-mail From a real-life, honest to goodness female Why she'd want to talk to me, I don't know But it gave me a strange feeling down below So after I cleaned myself up, I replied And made up a bunch of incredible lies I figured we'd never meet, so what would be the harm And maybe this time around I could use my other arm She sent me a picture, and I had to tell her She looked exactly like Sarah Michelle Gellar She even posed with a stake, it drove me loco It even had the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" logo I told her that I couldn't wait to meet her, she replied Said she couldn't wait either, and she had a high fever For the flavor of a messy wet net get-together She just got a new tether, and some shiny new leather We set up a great virtual date Friday night we'll log on to Instant Messenger at eight I can't wait, it's the first a girl and I talked That didn't end with the phrase "You want ketchup or salt?" [Chorus] "Well, hello there, BeverlyThrills90210." "Hey there, big guy." "Are you really as beautiful as your picture makes you out to be?" "And then some." "So are you ready for the night of your life?" "What did you have in mind?" [Verse Three: Tom Rockwell - Sudden d**h] Well let's begin with a meeting in cyberspace Where you and me can properly interface We can chat for a while and if that does the trick We can meet somewhere and maybe there we can double-click Ooh, you move fast, I like it when you talk nasty I can't wait to meet, I bet you got a great ASCII You're my type of girl, ooh you're such a tease Just bring your hard drive, no floppies please Don't worry bout that, I can burn and rip And I got a big file just for you to unzip Cause I'm a hacker in the sack not a slacker comrade You just wait till you're sliding round on my mouse pad I hope you're not like other guys whose system bombs As soon as I take off my shirt and they see deez roms Not a chance, I'ma make you do a sideways smile Cause I'm the master when it comes to installin my file So how about tonight? What a great suggestion I'm just sitting here bufferin my net congestion Cause you know I don't have anything else I have to do I would love to spend a evening with a lady like you So that's how it went, and I think it went fine Now I'm getting ready for our little meeting at nine I'm so excited and I know we'll hit it off, you'll see Just wait till she gets a load of me [Chorus]