Sudden d**h - Hangnail lyrics

[Chorus] I got a hangnail! What! Got a hangnail! What! Got a hangnail like you just wouldn't believe I got a hangnail! What! Got a hangnail! What! Got a hangnail! And I think it's starting to bleed! [Verse One] I got a, hangnail stickin out my pinky finger And no matter how I pull it there's a tiny piece that lingers I twist it and I yank- yank, I turn it like a crank- crank I feel like I'm tryin to crack a safe at a bank I never thought that anything so small could be so irritating Flappy thin and fascinating, cuticle-ly captivating Still I'm waiting just to find a method for removal That's effective, not subjective, and will have my mom's approval It gets my full attention 'til I finally get it off It's beyond my comprehension why sometimes it's hard and soft I don't know where they come from and I don't know where they go But do they get the best of me, I gotta say hell no Sometimes it takes my teeth sometimes it takes an act of God But I always get it off if it takes off half my bod So check out all your fingers if you got one out of luck Then you gotta 'gree with me, I tell ya, hangnails s** [Chorus] I got a hangnail here! Got a hangnail there! They got a co*ky attitude and they don't show any fear I got a hangnail here! Got a hangnail there! And when I pull it off it comes out up to here! [Verse Two: Tom Rockwell - Sudden d**h] I got a, hangnail now I'm feelin kinda odd Now I'm startin to get queasey as my finger starts to throb It's just a little flapper tell me what could be the harm I tried to pull it off and it ripped all up my arm I had a hangnail, there I was drivin down I-95 And got it caught in the gear shift and now I'm just Strivin to keep my car in the damn lane And restrain the pain and try not to go insane I got a hangnail, I feel so frail like Mr. Burns And my finger burns, it never learns ... hey, what happened to the song? I got a hangnail, so the mix came out wrong I tell ya, hangnails make it tough to get a date When the women see my fingers they just tend to run away Like Friday night, started out alright but then declined When the thing broke off and fell in my gla** of wine So I got rejected, hangnail got infected Now I'm sittin home alone pus filled and neglected Pissed at my finger, gonna set the thing straight If it doesn't shape up I'm gonna amputate [Chorus] I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what Got a hangnail, another one is startin to grow I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what Got a hangnail, another one on my big toe [Verse Three] I got a, hangnail now isn't that a pity Launching an investigation and I'm forming a committee Gonna get to the bottom of the problem if I can So let's pay close attention to the matter at hand Actually the matter's at foot this time Got a hangnail hangin off my toe this time How bad could it be it's just a little flap of skin You just gotta yank it out and then that'll be the end Pull it out, no doubt, then I start to scream and shout Thus begins round one of a twelve round bout It's stuck in so hard I gotta get a pair of pliers Now I'm gettin kinda tired I think my foot is on fire I gotta get a jackhammer just to dig around the nail Now I'm gettin kinda faint because the air is gettin stale I didn't use an anastehtic but I'm thinkin that I should've Now I got half a mind to just cut my whole foot off Nail clippers do nothin, sandpaper doesn't work I even tried hedgeclippers, now I'm really gettin irked This has gotta be the most annoying thing I ever saw I may have to resort to the mighty chainsaw [Chorus] I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what I got a hangnail, causing lots of pain as I walk I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what I got a hangnail, I got it caught on my damn sock I got a hangnail, yeah, got a hangnail, yeah When I finally get 'em out they leave ugly skin trails I got a hangnail, yeah, got a hangnail, yeah I only got 10 fingers, I got 40 hangnails!