Sudden d**h - Dead Rappers lyrics

[Tom Rockwell - Sudden d**h] I'm being haunted by the ghosts of dead rappers from both coasts Puttin out albums long after they've decomposed So their lyrics are a little behind the times But how do they get the dead to write rhymes? Song after song on the radio I hear Is by a guy who died, in the yesteryear But it's the best I hear of all the crap on the air It's pretty sad when you compare it to those still breathin the air I've been lookin for a deal since I wrote my first song Now I finally realized what I've been doin wrong It's not my cheesy beats or that my lyrics aren't strong It's just the simple fact that I've been living too long! Dead rappers got records flying off the shelf So I might get a deal if I k** myself That would pretty much guarantee more airplay But I don't think that I'd be able to enjoy the extra pay It blows me away what the dead are achieving Silly me thought it'd be tough to rap without breathing Don't ya know being dead seems to be the way to go Look there's another dead rapper on the radio [Hot Waffles] Livin or not I gotta give 'em their props They've been dead for years, but the rhymin don't stop They'll be back, doesn't matter what the d**h report is Throwin down and bein hard is now due to rigor mortis That rapper died late last fall, he's still rotting in the hall But now he's got gold records on the wall It's the +Dawn of the Dead+, and the dead can rap Still gettin paid while taking a dirt nap In the store you hear the beats cranked high You look the clerk in the eye and say, "Didn't that guy die?" But their careers go on even though they're long gone There's a signing next week out on Forest Lawn Dead rappers got records on top of the charts And all I got is a degree in liberal arts That means that before I could ever be adored I'd have to be full of formaldahyde and stiff as a board I just can't believe what the dead are achieving Like a rude houseguest who's just not leaving It's another bonus for the record label CEO Look - there's another dead rapper on the radio! "He be pa**ed on! He has ceased to be! Homeboy has expired and gone to meet his maker! This is a late rapper! They be stiff! Bereft of life, O.G.s rest in peace! Out! Metabolical processes are of interest only to historians! My man has hopped the twig! Mofo has shuffled off this mortal coil! Running upside the curtain and joined the choir invisible! In short, this.... is an EX-RAPPER!" [Tom Rockwell - Sudden d**h] Scott LaRock has been dead for like fifteen years So he'll probably do a video with Britney Spears Every year we hear the news, there goes another one Lined up on d**h Row (Waffles: Now that's a +Big Pun+) Big L, Biggie Smalls, all the big rappers get d**h's glance So Buffy didn't stand a chance And the record labels won't leave well enough alone Cause you can't collect royalties on a tombstone I got some advice for the folks who hate Eminem Don't k** him, cause then you'll never get rid of him They'll put out best, worst, and unreleased rhymes Guest vocals and home videos until the end of time Dead rappers got records flying off the shelf So here's a toast to Jay-Z's health And to Puff Daddy, uh, P-Diddy or whatever Live long and prosper, hell, live forever! Cause once they're dead, we won't ever be free No R.I.P. for R.A.P Don't ya know being dead seems to be the way to go Look - there's another dead rapper on the radio [Outro] Yo, dawg, that rapper's only mostly dead There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead Mostly dead is slightly alive Well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do (What's what, yo?) Go through his clothes and look for the bling bling!