Sudden d**h - Blow Up the Bathroom lyrics

I got a special talent that I love to share When I'm home or goin' out I pollute the air You can always tell where I have been and when 'Cause a lot of people never wanna go there again Early in the morning, or late at night I don't decide, it just happens when the time is right And when the time comes you better hope you're not around When I run to the bathroom and go to town, I'm gonna [Chorus] Blow up the bathroom! All night long! Blow up the bathroom! Man, that's just wrong Blow up the bathroom! It's nasty they tell me Blow up the bathroom! For the love of God, help me! I run to the bathroom and lock myself in You hear an earthquake followed by a gust of wind Then the smart people make a break for the front door And like a bad horror movie others go to explore Most never come back 'cause they're under attack By a smell that can burn the hair off of their back Very few that go in every manage to survive And if they do they'll need therapy the rest of their lives I wish that I could tell you how to get rid of the smell But nothing that I tried ever worked too well To get the steam off the window you can use a squeegee But don't light a match or you'll get blown to Fiji The best I can suggest is to just stay away I never jest I'm just trying to keep your hair from turning gray You better pray if you're ever in the house with me Because my a** can be a real catastrophe, when I (chorus) It starts flowin' and until I reach my quota, I sit there and Explode-a, like a shaken bottle of soda Wait till you get a load of my load, sometimes it glowed It pollutes the abode and the whole area code The stench that I produce will stick around for years Your eyes'll fill up with tears as your stomach switches gears Into reverse 'cause my curse is utterly perverse You better race me to the bathroom and hope you get there first Nuclear fallout's got nothing on my gas Scientists are trying to calculate the half-life of my a** If you're next in line, you might have to wait For the haz-mat team to decontaminate Otherwise you might just choke to d**h Just imagine that being your very last breath That's a d**h that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy But the government wants a new weapon so they're lettin' me (chorus) They tell me what I do is reprehensable All I know is that the smell's incomprehensable With the size of the you-know-what from my rear end That toilet may never flush normally again A plunger wouldn't help though try as you might You might have to use a quarter stick of dynomite To disperse the mess that leave in my wake Just be careful 'cause a handful of that stuff could cause a plague I'm the best lover your toilet ever had I'm the reason that New Jersey smells so bad So try to keep your distance if you see me around town 'Cause I grunt and I growl and I blow the house down The best thing that you can do is to relocate To a remote section on the other side of the state Of all the places in the world the last place you wanna be Is in the port-a-potty that is right next to me (chorus)