Sudden d**h - Do You Piss in the Shower? lyrics

I was walkin' through the mall headin' to the record store Gonna buy a new tape that came out the day before Halfway there when I got a big scare There's a guy with a clipboard scratching his hair With a pencil, he's a Mall-co*kroach And his face lit up when h saw me approach I didn't even look at him I tried to hide And I gradually wandered to the mall's other side A guided missile couldn't catch me as fast As this guy did as I tried to walk past Pushed his face in mine and said "Excuse me sir May I have a few minutes of your time for a survey?" My first thought was to bash in his skull with a brick And then get out of there quick But there's witnesses around, they would see him goin' down And the last thing I need is to be sent downtown So I told him make it quick, do it short and to the point I had to keep a gynecologist appointment I really just didn't want to be there for an hour Then he turned to me and said, Do you piss in the shower? Uhhh, I didn't know what to say I was expecting an important question from the survey Maybe something about AIDS for an intelligent discussion Not a meaningless remark about a bodily function He was serious and I was shocked I just stuttered for a minute, I was in a mental block Then he informed me that the government was payin' To see how much urine was goin' down the drain Just one of many studies that the government endows Like how many gay seagulls and how many farting cows Who really cares? So I said I'm gonna go My piss is my business so you're never gonna know But this is a real problem, we gotta try and fix it Homelessness is caused by too many people pissin' The theory makes sense and it's really quite frightening I said, you're on d**, but please, enlighten me Gladly, scientists last year found That urine from the shower drain leaks into the ground It gets into the water that everybody drinks Then it messes with their mind so the people can't think They start takin' d** all day and night Then they lose their job 'cause they don't do it right No job, no money, no home This is a serious problem we can't leave alone He seemed to want to make a career about piss And I couldn't believe he was serious about this So I walked away, I needed out of that place But he turned and got right in my face I got a weird felling kinda like heartburn 'Cause this guy was more attached to me than a tapeworm I'm positive this guy would have followed me home I said get out of my face and leave my urine alone I pushed him away and wiped his spit off my chest He said You're not gonna answer? Surely you jest I said yeah, I jest, I jest oughtta k** you Ask me again and some blood will be spilled Do you piss in the shower? Boom, that's that Bashed his face against the wall a few times now it's flat And with his very last gasp of air he said Do you piss in the shower?, so I pissed on his head