Sudden d**h - Couch Potato lyrics
There ain't nothin' to do in my home town So I grab my remote and I plant myself down s**in' down cheese balls by the pound Gonna watch TV till my brain melts down I got no wife and I got no life But I got my remote so I'm set for the night Never shower so I smell like rotten eggs Cobwebs growin' out the side of my legs Cause I haven't gotten up in sixteen years Missin' a show is one of my worst fears My father wants to know what kind of d** I'm on I don't get up to eat or even go to the john Even if I wanted to I doubt I could Because my legs feel like they're made of petrified wood Here in the same place in the same slouch My bu*t is fused to the cushion of the couch Dropped out of school in the second grade Got a ten foot screen, got a gla** of lemonade Got a jar next to me for when I have to pee This is the way life was meant to be There ain't nothin' to do in my home town So I grab my remote and I plant myself down s**in' down cheese balls by the pound Gonna watch TV till my brain melts down Rats and roaches run around the room I forgot what it's like to be in any other room I stare at the tube and I never make a sound Cause the TV set never lets me down Talk shows, talk shows, all day long With stuff like this, how can I go wrong? Like cross dressin' Nazis who live on Gummy bears And Elvis impersonators singing in their underwear Games, game shows all day and night I live for shows like The Price Is Right I'm still waitin' to see Bob Barker cringe When a fat woman pulls the big wheel off the hinge Wait, what's happening, this has to be a joke Oh, God, no, please, my remote is broke These are brand new batteries I can't believe they blew Now what the hell am I supposed to do? There ain't nothin' to do in my home town So I grab my rerote* and I plant myself down s**in' down cheese balls by the pound Gonna watch TV till my brain melts down [*rerote, n. (re-ROTE): 1.how a person says "remote" After years of sitting in front of a television Due to the brain damage caused by doing so.]