Sudden d**h - Bowel Movement lyrics

{*a parody of Eric B. & Rakim's song "Move the Crowd"*} Standing in my bedroom suddenly I had this Feeling like I ate an anvil and had to pa** it So I just can't stand around So I start running and the faster I run the harder it pounds I break down the bathroom door, drop my drawers to the floor Was pushing so hard that my teeth were sore The veins are bulging out of my head And I'm thinking out loud to myself and I said How can I move my bowels? First of all, I better get more paper towels It's the distruction of my bathroom I'm constipated, a disaster So I start poppin' ExLax like M&Ms I put the dog outside and warned all my friends Is this the most that I can eat? 'Cause if not, I may have to wait another week But don't make me wait too long 'cause it's been at least a month Since I was last on the john So I open the lid and grumble and growl 'Cause I got to move my bowels Imagine me with a leak like the Exxon Valdeez It's the smell that's making me wheeze A garden hose doesn't have this much power I'm splashing so much it sounds like I'm in the shower My lower intestines, they growl like a jaguar Everything inside falls out like Niagara Polluting the air is so much fun Now I'm on the john, the neighborhood is on the run For those that know me I often blow their mind Because they know I go for days at a time I've seen magicians who can pull hankerchiefs out their hand But can they pull out toilet paper like I can? It's an incredible size, doesn't fit through my thighs And it's burning my eyes and attracting the flies But I'm-a keep going till the EPA calls out My bu*t producing lots of nuclear fallout With odor itself there's nothing I can't melt For miles around the vibrations are felt This is dangerous stuff it's not a bluff it's been proven Indeed I think I need to make my bowels keep moving