{*a parody of LL Cool J's song "Around the Way Girl"*} I want a girl with gravitational pull Big as a cow, but not mean as a bull A couple chins and a big behind That's what I need to make the girlie all mine She can waddle down the street talk with her mouth full I love it when the woman spits food on the floor Standing at the bus stop inhaling a lollipop One she starts eating you can't make the hottie stop She likes to dance to the rap song But she always breaks the floor 'cause her legs are too strong Prune wrinkled complexion, sits around the town Let's hear it for the girl she's big and round [Chorus] I need a big 'n round girl That's the one for me I need a big 'n round girl Dusted, rusted, her smile's like a skeleton's That's why I had to dedicate this one To all the cuties grazing in my back yard If I didn't feed you then you'd probably starve You eat all my sugar straight out of the jar Gonna panic if I see you getting into my car Boy you're fat, but at least you got nice looking hair Even your cat is as big as a bean bag chair You can break chairs and manipulate food Or drink Welches then belch and act totally rude You always know where the food can be found Cold flip when you find a new diner in town Not cheap or petty, just constantly hungry You shower once a month so you smell real funky But if you ever wanna fit in this world Go on a diet girl (chorus) You bleached your hair just as white as you can Now you look like the abominable snow man I tell you come here and you say no way 'Cause you run out of breath and pa** out half way Around the way you ripped all your jeans All the little kids use it for a trampoline You wear a parachute for your biker shorts While you're chillin' in the restaurant eating foods of all sorts Going to the movies getting stuck in the door While the business men in suits are throwing up on the floor Fake hair flappin', both lips chappin' You broke the toilet, it was bound to happen We can go out and eat real well I got a lot more fat jokes to tell Lisa, Angela, get out of town Before you get flattened, she's big and round (chorus)