Structural Disorder - The Longing And The Chokehold lyrics

Sleepwalking shadows 
 Adamant decisions beyond my control
 A firm grip that tightens 
 Around my mind, around my soul 

 Artificial veils are woven 
 A bitter taste, a putrid stench of fear 
 Once again, the grip it tightens 
As I see myself fading away 

 Save me I am drowning 
 In this ocean, no emotions in me 
 I feel hollow and uncertain 
 I can’t see through the veil spun by needles 
 I am begging won’t you free me 
 because deep inside me 
 there is nothing where there once stood a mind

 Imaginary friends still linger 
 Shadows from a pleasant past 
 I reach out my hand to touch them 
 just inches away from my grasp 

 Please just lead me home again 
 Please don’t let her fade away 
 Lay this weary mind to sleep 
 As the demon lingers in the deep 

 I can feel how my hands are shaking, caused by my abstinence
 
 [Spoken:] “I don’t recognize my own reflection, I don’t recognize my own actions, Hell – I don’t even recognize my own dreams anymore! This… medicated… drugged being… it… it isn’t who I am!”
 I can feel how my mind is breaking with every breath I take 

 [Spoken:] “I won’t swallow anymore pills and I won’t let you come near me with those f**ing needles again, you hear me?! I won’t… I want to remember! I want to f**ing remember!” 
 I can feel how my soul is fading, leaving behind an empty shell 
 I can feel how my heart is bleeding, knowing that it will soon be gone
 I can sense my memories fading, leaving me in the bitter cold 
 I can feel how I am breaking as I let the pills go down 

 Please just lead me home again 
 Please don’t let her fade away 
 Lay this weary mind to sleep 
 As the demon lingers in the deep