Stig of the Dump - Future Posse Cut lyrics

Phone conversation: Manager: I was thinking like we just, all get together, in between now and when we it out and just all get pissed in Holloway and just like have a cypher in the booth and just record it and then just like mash up a couple of like, you know like minute and a half pieces and bits of cyphering, and then that's like exclusive freestyle sh** cause the kids love that Dirty Dike: yeah yeah yeah. that sounds good Manager: and then that's, that's 500 quid Dirty Dike: sh** son Manager: Basically, Guaranteed no brainer Dirty Dike: We could just spend that on strawberry daiquiris and mopeds Manager: ..exactly thts booze money Dirty Dike: ehehe. I'm rentin' a moped. Deff. we've Got'a get some motorbikes Manager: sh**, the last time I was in a moped I was like "weeewrereeeeeeggghh waaaahhhh" -- Dirty Dike -- Yeah Uh It's all..It's all distorted.. And its awkward I stab an orphan With an orchid And pork sword it Then I feed it to a swordfish Awesome sh** Shaving a pasty I'm raping David Blaine with an ashtray He's like, "Please stop it" He's Wallace and she's Gromit Bangin' on the moon, Strangle a baboon Kick him in the fanny then I bang it with a broom I'm in lesbian prison Dying on my own, Cryin' at the throne Violent with the bone Pull the bone off and snap if in half I'm just havin' a laugh Are we ready? Are we ready? r-r--r-ready? I'm just havin' a laugh Are we ready? R-r-ready I I I I I-I'm just havin a laugh These years are gold years I won't ever be rich f** a life i'ma live mine whatever it is I'll get in a whip And drive like a hedonist prick Forgettin' I'm pissed and high not to mention the sniff I never question what I got in my brain I'm not afraid I'm the most honest nov in the game With a gob like a drain I'm obnoxious and lazy And still gettin' props in a cotch full of ladies, Baby And I ain't gonna play unless you pay me And make me a shake eggs bacon or baked beans Never catchin' feelings actin' weak and all emotional I simply catch a beat when I'm erratic and I vocal all Sociable Overly so, but f** Pa**ive I chat sh** loads and you know my tongues magic My drug habit and clothes are both free 'till I come home blagging in this homeless bloke's jeans -- Stig of the Dump -- Hi My names Steven Would you like a little bit of company this evening? You can bring the wine I'll get the cheese and Nah f** that let's get absolutely steaming! Tell the bouncer I'ma bring a gram of weed in Back stage at a rave with the grave chief'n Bag a bag of beef till I start to lose the feelin' in my face Smash the place till we're hangin' from the ceiling Team hate SMB that's the link up Truck a load but the whole party stink up There's a prize at the bottom love, drink up f** the respect I want the money and my dick s**ed Hawaiian shirt on my back, (splash) Cool runnings, rockin' that John Candy swag In fact what you want is penis So I tell her that she's better on top like my team is -- Dr Syntax -- Whose that dashing young exec making power moves In the board room Who told his secretary to never put your calls through? Not me But picture that level of ignorance And triple it and I will still be more rude, f** your crew I'm like Jaws, you're more like Jaws II Same sorta thing, not as good, poor you I'm like bishop but with more juice Unzip my flies then I put them in your soup (word play) Word to my potential unborn kids Rappers forfeit and turn yellow like jaundice Don't like my sh**? Well horses for courses But my guess is you're the sort of prick Who thinks ballin' would be scorin' with a Geordie shore chick During a Majorca trip you probably saw her in a spot, that probably cost 40 quid My name is dr syntax I'm on some awesome sh** But you already knew that didn't you Of course you did --BVA -- It's pannin' out and I ain't found no gold yet Find me where the surface is wet but there's no mold yet I'm all in and rappers start to fall past the stage But for an old vet Puttin' holes in the circles where the soul left Blow clefts through smoke rings to test my aim Don't play notes just B flat linin' them again Keep what i C# cause this world can get insane f** lies, f** blame, f** pride, f** shame I'm a simple creature Gimme a daim and big sack of reefer And I'll smile like my dicks making a mouth deeper A west of sav speaker Spring a leak in a steady flow to zone on another bangin' Dike feature sh** I might teach ya Might not, might make you spak out and kick a hole in your right speaker Tryina make this music ugly but beautiful So kids could ugh, but not the head because it's musical -- DatKid -- So.. if you hate my guts you can choke on my balls And I'll take a picture of it just to post on your wall I ain't blaggin' you up Trust me I'm an arrogant c*nt A savage a drunk f** and apparently scum Just because I get my kick out of embarra**ing chumps And taggin' their drums Yeah I'm a vandal for fun Smokin' f*gs just to damage my lungs Screamin' life's too short While I'm necking neat brandy and rum I do music for a livin' I ain't gettin' a job Who the f**s gonna employ a stole veteran slob That turns up to his midday shift at 7 o' clock And pisses in the boss's office while he's telling him off? So you can catch me lookin' smashed with a spliff and a beer Feedin' a fat heffer chicken while I'm lickin' her ear It's 5 am and my mission is clear I need to bust a f**in' nut And there ain't no other women in here -- Verb T -- Aye yo man I hold weight and control these fakes Eatin' chocolate cake, sippin' a protein shake Fat face flows, and the track plays through All these fake little rats in the trap they chose V to the f**in E to the f**ing R to the B The initial is T I'm f**in' large That's right, we rock homeless fashion Might spit into the crowd show no compa**ion Fools imaginations are overactive Oh you're actin' I'll burn you and mold the plastic To a new shape, Two face f** the fake hype A new aim too shame struck with snake bite Venom in the veins Sendin' them insane Rushin' through the blood Intended for the brain So you do well to remember these damn names It's the new faces of the derelict campaign -- Jam Baxter -- Screamin' in the face of every screen and peen receiver Its' the Baxstar starkers and i fill the scene with ether Yeah you see 'em Crack hands mahoosive on a slappin' spree Slug a slug backward after travel tavern balconies So how could she Watch your personality evaporate Curdle in the corner and contaminate a tanqueray With tears, tears, bitter sweet tears While we're f**in' up the jam, with a spliff in each ear This year, sh**s getting f**ing f**ed up Round 2 acid prawn summer uncut See the top shelf smut barren plummet untouched And the sky settle safely in the blood and guts bruv Well done Recruiting for my rebel terror cells Selling second hand remains from the day heaven fell And congealed in the kitchen Of every desert hell, is a moldy eyed chief And a cracked metal shell let's move -- Edward Scissortongue -- These are the words that my brain is tellin' me to stick down On a sh**ty crumbled ugly f**in' piece of paper I was thinking what the f** it's goin' on about But it just told me to shut the f** up and ignite the flavor So I listen to the feeble flappin' muscle in my skull And put the pen back to the sheet until the ink wouldn't fit To be honest everything I've ever written in my life has been abysmal Why? cause I'm a stupid heap of sh** I'm such a dick The most selfish twat you'll ever meet Trust me Ask any person that I have ever known in my entire life and they'll confirm that Edward Scissortongue Is hands down the biggest f**ing c*nt inside the country Plus I'm f**ing stingy I top load my zoots And I won't drive you home to the village from the city I swear to god that if you look at me again I'll sh** my pants and start flinging f**ing flaming lumps like frisbees -- Mr. Key -- Oi toss pot watch whats top of the pops? No cotch with dot cotton hot boxin the dots (?) And what, i'm not bothered if apocalypse drops I'll be f**ed struttin' bollocks with a bottle of scotch With god's comet? Stop waffling cause probably not Shop coffas shop shottas got us watchin' a clock A scotch bun it hot molotov off the top To polly folly pop son it what's proper and what? I'm on a mission There isn't sh** to do in spittin' writtens I'm tryina bring a set of different kids in little Britain If you ain't got a second to take a time to to listen to the wisdom Then i ain't got the time to waste to k** the cynicism I never had the time of day for givin' it the big 'im When i spit i spit is sick for the spirits with'in a vision It's the mr. kizzakizzum with a dirty double d cup A pair of ma**ive tits keep smugglin' your peanuts -- Fliptrix -- It's big flips the dangler Microphone damager Goin' through the green like a mutha f**in' rambler Head's spinnin' Metaphorical jazz Still steppin' out on the road rockin' nothin' but old rags T's I've had for years and jeans that are so sag Got particles of dust in the wallet but no cash All the dough I had i done spend it on chro' bags Mixed it up with pizz until memories fade to black, its Pointless for us to repent when there's no way to go back Like a fetus in a jar After a car crash Disaster's a par fact I'm pavin' them bars of hash While you're screwin' at your zoogie complainin' of hard ash You're a rookie I'm a lad Look at me I pay in cash Cause I'm fillin' out this venue the fans are just f**in' fab I'm a smash like gla** against the concrete when it be dash Real rapper bring it back Call it zoogie man slide -- MC Leafdog -- You can guarantee that Leaf is high So many clouds in my room it's like the house is above the sky No lie thats my life never lost a love Son I put it on to beat like a boxer's glove Workin' the sub like I'm in the navy You know the claps comin' like the crowds's goin' crazy Son of Lee son of Davey Bring a summary like there's war comin' lately That's how these c*nts made me I don't feel that hip hop's represented The music for the poor stood where the rich sent it They're a joke And never been a lyricist The closest thing to seeing p**y was the mirror images Don't take the risk cause you ain't half as nice And will remain unknown like the secrets of the after life In a world trying to search for the answer A riddle through your mind just like a brain cancer Dirty Dike: Ah hahaha haaaaa haaaa haaaaaa