Sticky Icky - Welcome Ladies & Gentlemen (skit) lyrics

> >Hi, > >Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (stinky face) > >Welcoming you on Bokasa Unit. We apologize for the > >Four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some > >Overtime I had to put in at the bakery and my poultry farm. > >This is flight 126 to Jamaica. > >Landing in Jamaica is not guaranteed, but we may end up > >Somewhere in the south. > >If luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village! > >Bokasa Unit has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety > >Standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with > >Us! > >It is with great pleasure; I announce that since starting this year > >Over 50% of our pa**engers have reached their destination. If our > >Engines are too noisy for you, on pa**enger request, we can arrange > >To turn > >Them off! > >To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve > >Complimentary Bongo tea and Bibi biscuits! For our not-so-religious > >Pa**engers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if > >There > >Really is a God! > >We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be > >Shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our > >Movie > >Buffs, we will be flying right next to British airways, where their > >Movie will be > >Visible from the right side of the cabin window. > >There is no smoking allowed in this plane. Any smoke you see in the > >Cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to > >Slow > >Down! In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close > >As > >Possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, > >Do let us know by miss callin the pilot on he' mobile. > >Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark! > > >Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off > >And > >Fasten your seatbelt. For those of you who can't find a seatbelt, > >Kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat, and for those > >Of you > >Who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a > >Stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your > >Suitcase." > >Enjoy Bokasa Unit. > >Have a nice day. > >Bokasa Unit. > > > >THE END.