MISS SHINGLE: Have you heard of the D'Ysquith family? MONTY: The D'Ysquiths? Why, yes, of course. Hasn't everyone? MISS SHINGLE: Then you've heard of Highhurst Castle MONTY: Of course MISS SHINGLE: You're aware, then, of their position, their vast wealth and influence? MONTY: Yes, yes. What's it got to do with me? MISS SHINGLE: You're a D'Ysquith MONTY: What? MISS SHINGLE: You're a D'Ysquith MONTY: No MISS SHINGLE: Ha ha, oh The D'Ysquith blood is flowing through you MONTY: Me, a D'Ysquith? MISS SHINGLE: A genuine bona fide D'Ysquith MONTY: Rubbish MISS SHINGLE: Of course, of course Ya don't believe me, do you? MONTY: You must be mad MISS SHINGLE: Very well, then. If your mother was not a D'Ysquith, what was her maiden name? MONTY: She always insisted that the only name that mattered (whispered) was my fathers MISS SHINGLE: Your mother Lived like a princess in every way A daughter of Lord Maximillian Till she met your father one fateful day She knew it was love - and yet The family declared she'd been led astray By a climbing, conniving Castilian "Oh let him go Or else you'll know A life you will live to regret" This was no idle threat "You're a D'Ysquith You're a perfectly breedable D'Ysquith And a D'Ysquith does her duty Don't forget" There was nothing your mother could say She eloped with your father the very next day MONTY: So she was... disinherited? MISS SHINGLE: In a word: yes. Despicable, the lot of them MONTY: How awful! MISS SHINGLE: Your mother Made me promise I'd never tell But now she is no longer living She wanted to spare you her private hell But I think you deserve to know Take this knowledge and use it well The family may yet be forgiven This will guarantee You've a right to be On the family tree And it seems to be Indisputably Head to toe You're a D'Ysquith A D-apostrophe-Y-squith A-there can be No other way to view it Montague, you're a D'Ysquith MONTY: I'm all of a sudden a D'Ysquith! MISS SHINGLE: Yes! And it's time That everybody knew it A-you are the son of the daughter Of the grandson Of the nephew Of the second Earl of Highhurst, your turn MONTY: I am the son of the daughter Of the... BOTH: The grandson Of (MONTY: Oh, sorry.) the nephew Of the second Earl of Highhurst MONTY: The thought occurred: why should I believe a woman who might very well be insane? And yet, there seems to be an air of authenticity to this document I'm a D'Ysquith (MISS SHINGLE: You're a D'Ysquith) It would seem I'm a D'Ysquith MISS SHINGLE: You're a D'Ysquith Montague I picture you At Highhurst MONTY: Yesterday, I was Monty Navarro MISS SHINGLE: You could be an Earl tomorrow MONTY: And Highhurst could be My-hurst I'm a D'Ysquith MISS SHINGLE: You're a D'Ysquith BOTH: A D'Ysquith A D'Ysquith A D'Y... squith