f** yourself with a rubber hose Stick it in your mouth and down your throat Up your nose and in your heinie hole I don't care where it goes And it don't matter if you're straight or gay You should f** yourself anyway Now, you don't have to listen to a word I say But I know you, you'll be humpin' away f** yourself with your neighbor's nose If you can't use that, use a 10-foot pole Stick it up your a** and go for a stroll Everyone will know you've been to this show If you can't take, eat my stool Masturbate with some crazy glue I don't care what you do f** yourself with a garden tool f** yourself with politics Ahh they're full of f**in' f**in' sh** I mean you know we've been lied to ever since we were born It's amazing that we've been getting f**ed that long f** yourself with the world wide web Man you could ride that s**er right from your bed You may even meet a Tom, Dick, Jane or Billy Then grab onto your modem and f** yourself silly f** yourself with your heart and soul Give it everything you got, hey I'm talkin' to you If you can't even f** yourself, How ya gonna f** someone else? f** yourself with my microphone I'll give it to you later when we're all alone We can turn it up loud and see if you come, But don't get your jizz on my microphone f** yourself with organized religion Now that is some seriously sinnin' business If the Lord sees their pathetic crimes He'll be f**in' them 'til the end of time And can someone explain to me this racism crap I know it isn't white, but it isn't black And to all you people who only see things your way Well, you can s** my dick and take all day f** your nose with a pound of blow Watch your money get up and go but when you burnt your brain and you say I don't know! I hate to tell you but I told you so f** yourself with this grunge rock noise I mean, stuff those albums in your groin They come down on me because I know how to play - Hey... f** you! f** yourself with a copy of Rolling Stone Or are they too holy for your holiest of holes Now those people think they're holier than Moses But aren't they just a bunch of f**in' posers f** yourself with your mother's j**elry I won't tell, I ain't a stooly If you pounce hard enough you'll cough up a ruby Your blood will be rich and so will your doodie f** yourself with the latest fashion With your spikes and your hair and those cute little bu*tons And if you happen to have some leather and lace f** yourself 'til you're blue in the face f** yourself with your income tax They're f**ing you and that's a fact Before you know it your money's all spent And you've just been f**ed by the government f** yourself with your lawyer friend You're the only one that's getting f**ed in the end I have been so f**ed by legal bills that my a**hole is the size of Beverly Hills f** yourself with your full-length sweater With your minks and your diamonds and your Irish Setter With your cash and your trash and your sinks and your drinks Just f** yourself 'til you can't even think Those of you who enjoy this song thank you thank you, I love you Let's get it on But for those of you who are totally outraged f** yourself with your face