Me not got no slow metabolism Every wednesday night i go to catacism They give me lots of doughnuts I get yelled at by the grown-ups Me not got no slow metabolism Me not got no slow metabolism Yet i'm suffering from some sort of mental schism I eat twenty lobster tails And yet i'm skinny as a rail Me not got no slow metabolism Me not got no slow metabolism Yet i'm doing twenty years here in this prison I stole a lot of food And then they told me i was rude Me not got no slow metabolism Me not got no slow metabolism Every wednesday night i go to catacism I eat a lot of jell-o Yet i'm still a skinny fellow Me not got no slow metabolism Me not got no slow metabolism Yet i'm suffering from some sort of mental schism I eat a ton of pasta He my pappa, he says, "basta!" Me not got no slow metabolism Oy vey!