Steve Martin - Late for School (instrumental) lyrics

Woke up this mornin Clock said I was late for school Teacher told me "that's not cool" Gotta put my shirt and pants on Flew down the front stair Wet my fingers and slicked my hair Elbowed grandma pa**ing by Her face went into a pie If I'm late there's misery I won't be up on history I'll be in the english grammar slammer And I got a c Got a warning last semester Told my mom and that depressed her Promised dad I won't be late, so gotta accelerate Let's go! Ran out the front door Moving like a meteor I sped across the front lawn quickly Missed the bus, my shoelace tripped me Rounded the corner Homework flying as I go Neighbor shouted "tally ho!" And gave a standing o Lept across three lawn flamingos Waved to sal, (he's filipino) Jumped the fence And found that I was headed toward a pool In the air I did look funny On tv I'd make some money Waved my arms and legs like mad To alter where I'd land, whoo! Aimed for the rubber boad Hit instead the kiddie float I began to lose control I'm so glad I learned to log roll Jumped onto the diving board Bounced off it then headed toward A jungle gym I bounced just right and caught onto a kite Whoa! Up so high, I see the school 8am, that's the rule! Flying slowly, time is marking Down below the dogs are barking I feel like I'm sailing But uh-oh, the wind is failing Now I'm headed downward, groundward Clownward to the school On the football field I crashed 50-yard line, perfect smash Grabbed my books and so begins My frantic final dash Down the hall I ricochet Trophy cases in the way The other kids are all in cla** I wish that I were they, whoa! Almost there! I see the clock ends with the light 8am exactly right! I pull a handle with a fight The door is locked and that's not right There's not a person here today Is everybody out to play? Now I'm thinking and it's sinking in It's saturday! Ohh!! I could have stayed in bed! I'm out the school gate Wish that I could aviate Or possibly evaporate I'll be home and back in bed soon My dad is waiting "what the heck were you up to Let's go fishing My oh my, your grandma's face is in a pie" This is really something I'm with dad and fish are jumping Mom gave me a new alarm To set for monday morn Never wanna be late for school' Never wanna be the cla**room fool I'd be in the english grammar, slammer And I get a d! Now my feet are doing dances Hip hooray for second chances! I'm not late and life is great, it's time to celebrate, whoa!