Steve Martin - Roxanne - 20 Elongated Nose Joke Insults lyrics

All right, all right, twenty something betters. Here it goes. Let's start with, uh, Obvious: Excuse me, is that your nose, or did a bus park on your face; Meteorological: Everybody take cover, she's going to blow!; Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like Wyoming; Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us; Punctual: All right, Dellman, your nose was on time, but you were fifteen minutes late; Envious: Ooh, I wish I were you. Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear; Naughty: Pardon me sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away; Philosophical: You know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's in it that matters; Humorous: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and it's goodbye Seattle; Commercial: Hi, I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95! Polite: Uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. Melodic: Everybody. 'He's got the whole world, in his nose'; Sympathetic: Ooh, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?; Complimentary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on; Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides?; Obscure: Whoa, I'd hate to see the grindstone! Well, think about it. Inquiring: When you stop and smell the flowers, are they afraid? French: Sir, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave! p**nographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once! How many is that?... Religious: The Lord giveth - and He just kept on giving, didn't He? Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair? Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my c**aine! Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee - in Brazil. Appreciative: Oooh, how original! Most people just have their teeth capped...All right, Dirty: Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it? You smart-a**ed son-of-a-b**h! Flat-faced, flat-nosed, flat-head. He then punched the man unconscious: "Has he fallen yet?"