Steve Bolton - Stand Up Comic lyrics

Now I don't mind if fifty thousand yobos beat me up outside a football ground on a Saturday afternoon I'll still come out fighting D'ya' know why? You've seen me on television I'm the lowest common denominator And this is all about yob culture So welcome to jolly Old England I'm the stand up comic Jack the Lad has become Oscar Wilde And the followers of style say it's the latest thing And William Shakespeare is the schmooze of the week And anyone who says different is a f**in' antique And Noel Coward has become very hard And the comic says "Bollocks" and everybody laughs And that's that Style, I mean Never was much, never has been But the little bit that was was all that we had And the clown does a belch and we all belch back And that's that Jack the Lad has become Fancy Dan And creating agro culture with a rub-on tan And all the tearaways have got savoir faire And the working cla** hero's got a'tinted hair And a well-spoken hero from a'yesteryear Walks out onto a stage and they all shout "Queer!" And that's that Manners, I mean Never was much, never has been But the little bit that was was all that we had Now the clown does a fart and we all fart back And that's that Stand up, stand up Can you hear me at the back? All you white boys standin' in a row And the comic shouts And we all shout back And the mob says "Follow" so we go Stand up, stand up Can you hear me at the back? All you white boys standing in a row And the comic shouts And we all shout back And the mob says "Follow" so we go And that's that What do you think of it so far? I knew you'd say that You've been watchin' too much television Together now! Jack the Lad has become Oscar Wilde And the followers of style say it's the latest thing And William Shakespeare is the schmooze of the week And anyone who says different is an antique And Noel Coward has become very odd And the comic says "Bollocks" and everyone laughs And that's that Style, I mean Never was much, never has been But the little bit that was was all that we had Now the clown does a belch and we all belch back And that's that All together now! Stand up, stand up Can you hear me at the back? All you wide white boys standing in a row And the comic shouts And we all shout back And the mob says "Follow" so we go Stand up, stand up Can you hear me at the back? All you white boys standing in a row And the comic shouts And we all shout back And the mob says "Follow" so we go And that's that Well, I'm goin' down the pub now You're welcome to join me if you like but I know you won't You've all been watching too much television Well I'll be in the public bar, minding my own business