Stephin Merritt - The Collar and the Garter lyrics

He speaks as sweetly as he can But words do not enthrall her They dance around the washing-pan The collar and the garter He tartly starts up repartee But her retorts are smarter She will not name a wedding day The garter and the collar So to and fro, and so they dance The collar and the garter He swears, if he should lose his love Then love will gain a martyr They part, and that's the story of The garter and the collar He keeps his braggadocio Through years of fall and squalor And toasts the maid who loved him so The collar and the garter