See them on their big bright screen Tan and blonde and seventeen Eating nonfood keeps them mean But they're young forever If they must grow up, they marry dukes and earls I hate California girls They ain't broke, so they put on airs The faux folks sans derrieres They breathe coke and have affairs With each pa**ing rock star They come on like squares Then get off like squirrels I hate California girls Looking down their perfect noses at me and my kind Do they think we won't Well, never mind Laughing through their perfect teeth At everyone I know Do they think we won't Get up and go? So, I have planned my grand attacks I will stand behind their backs With my brand-new battle axe Then they will they taste my wrath They will hear me say As the pavement whirls "I hate California girls..."