Stephen Sondheim - Gee, Officer Krupke! lyrics

[ACTION] Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke You gotta understand It's just our bringin' up-ke That gets us out of hand Our mothers all are junkies Our fathers all are drunks Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks! [ACTION AND JETS] Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset; We never had the love that every child oughta get We ain't no delinquents We're misunderstood Deep down inside us there is good! [ACTION] There is good! [ALL] There is good, there is good There is untapped good! Like inside, the worst of us is good! [SNOWBOY, spoken] That's a touchin' good story [ACTION, spoken] Lemme tell it to the world! [SNOWBOY, spoken] Just tell it to the judge [ACTION] Dear kindly Judge, your Honor My parents treat me rough With all their marijuana They won't give me a puff They didn't wanna have me But somehow I was had Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad! [DIESEL (As Judge)] Right! Officer Krupke, you're really a square; This boy don't need a judge, he needs an an*lyst's care! It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed He's psychologically disturbed! [ACTION] I'm disturbed! [JETS] We're disturbed, we're disturbed We're the most disturbed Like we're psychologically disturbed [DIESEL (as Judge), spoken] Hear ye, hear ye! In the opinion on this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home [ACTION, spoken] Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived [DIESEL, spoken] So take him to a headshrinker [ACTION] My father is a ba*tard My ma's an S.O.B My grandpa's always plastered My grandma pushes tea My sister wears a mustache My brother wears a dress Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess! [A-RAB: (as Psychiatrist)] Yes! Officer Krupke, you're really a slob This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job Society's played him a terrible trick And sociologically he's sick! [ACTION] I am sick! [ALL] We are sick, we are sick We are sick, sick, sick Like we're sociologically sick! [A-RAB, spoken] In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease! [ACTION, spoken] Hey, I got a social disease! [A-RAB, spoken] So take him to a social worker! [ACTION] Dear kindly social worker They say go earn some dough Like be a soda jerker Which means like be a schmo It's not I'm anti-social I'm only anti-work Gloryosky! That's why I'm a jerk! [BABY JOHN (as Female Social Worker)] Eek! Officer Krupke, you've done it again This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen It ain't just a question of misunderstood; Deep down inside him, he's no good! [ACTION] I'm no good! [ALL] We're no good, we're no good! We're no earthly good Like the best of us is no damn good! [DIESEL (as Judge)] The trouble is he's lazy [A-RAB (as Psychiatrist)] The trouble is he drinks [BABY JOHN (as Female Social Worker)] The trouble is he's crazy [DIESEL] The trouble is he stinks [A-RAB] The trouble is he's growing [BABY JOHN] The trouble is he's grown [ALL] Krupke, we got troubles of our own! Gee, Officer Krupke We're down on our knees 'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease Gee, Officer Krupke What are we to do? Gee, Officer Krupke Krup you!