Stephen Sondheim - The Day Off lyrics

[GEORGE] If the head was smaller... If the tail were longer... If he faced the water... If the paws were hidden... If the neck was darker... If the back was curved... More like the parasol... Bumbum bum bumbumbum Bumbum bum... More shade... More tail... More gra**!... Would you like some more gra**? Mmmm... [SPOT (GEORGE)] Ruff! Ruff! Thanks, the week has been rough! When you're stuck for life on a garbage scow Only forty feet long from stern to prow And a crackpot in the bow-wow, rough! The planks are rough And the wind is rough And the master's drunk and mean and- Grrrruff! Gruff! With the fish and scum And planks end ballast- The nose gets numb And the paws Bet callused And with splinters in your a** You look forward to the gra** On Sunday The day off Off! Off! Off! Off! The gra** needs to be thicker. Perhaps a few weeds And some ants, if you would. I love fresh ants Roaming around on Sunday Poking among the roots and rocks Nose to the ground on Sunday Studying all the shoes and socks Everything's worth it Sunday The day off Bits of pastry... Piece of chicken... Here's a handkerchief That somebody was sick in There's a thistle... That's a shallot... That's a dripping From the loony with the palette... [FIFI (GEORGE)] Yap! Yap! Yap! Out for the day on Sunday Off of my lady's lap at last Yapping away on Sunday Helps you forget the week just past- Yep! Yep! Everything's worth it Sunday The day off Yep! Stuck all week on a lady's lap Nothing to do but yawn and nap Can you blame me if I yap? [SPOT] Nope [FIFI] There's only so much attention a dog can take Being alone on Sunday Rolling around in mud and dirt- [SPOT] Begging a bone on Sunday Settling for a spoiled dessert- [FIFI] Everything's worth it [SPOT] Sunday... [FIFI] The day off [SPOT] Something fuzzy... [FIFI] Something furry... [SPOT] Something pink That someone tore off in a hurry... [FIFI] What's the muddle In the middle? [SPOT] That's the puddle Where the poodle did the piddle [GEORGE] Taking the day on Sunday Now that the dreary week is dead Getting away on Sunday Brightens the dreary week ahead Everyone's on display on Sunday- [ENSEMBLE] The day off! [GEORGE] Bonnet flapping Bustle sliding Like a rocking horse that nobody's been riding There's a daisy- And some clover- And that interesting fellow looking over... [OLD LADY] Nurse! [NURSE/GEORGE] One day is much like any other Listening to her snap and drone [NURSE] Still, Sunday with someone's dotty mother Is better then Sunday with your own Mothers may drone, mothers may whine- Tending to his, though, is perfectly fine It pays for the nurse that is tending to mine On Sunday My day off [FRIEDA] You know, Franz, I believe that artist is drawing us [FRANZ] Who? [FRIEDA] Monsieur's friend [FRANZ] Monsieur would never think to draw us! We are only people he looks down upon [GEORGE/FRIEDA] Second bottle... [GEORGE/FRANZ] Ah, she looks for me... [FRIEDA] He is bursting to go... [FRANZ] Near the fountain... [FRIEDA] I could let him... [FRANZ] How to manage it? [FRIEDA] No [FRANZ] I should have been an artist. I was never intended for work [FRIEDA] Artists work, Franz. I believe they work very hard [FRANZ] Work! We work We serve their food We carve their meat We tend to their house We polish their Silverware [FRIEDA] The food we serve We also eat [FRANZ] For them we rush Wash and brush Wipe and wax [FRIEDA] Franz, relax [FRANZ] While he "creates," We scrape their plates And dust their knickknacks Hundreds to the shelf Work is what you do for others Liebchen Art is what you do for yourself [CELESTE #1] Look [CELESTE #2] Where? [CELESTE #1] Soldiers [CELESTE #2] Alone [SOLDIER] What do you think? I like the one in the light hat [GEORGE/SOLDIER] Mademoiselles I and my friend We are but soldiers! [SOLDIER] Pa**ing the time In between wars For weeks at an end [CELESTE #1] Both of them are perfect [CELESTE #2] You can have the other [CELESTE #1] I don't want the other [CELESTE #2] I don't want the other either [SOLDIER] And after a week Spent mostly indoors With nothing but soldiers Ladies, I and my friend Trust we will not offend Which we'd never intend By suggesting we spend- [CELESTES] Oh, spend- [SOLDIER] -This magnificent Sunday- [CELESTES] Oh, Sunday- [SOLDIER] With you and your friend [CELESTE #2] The one on the right's an awful bore... [CELESTE #1] He's been in a war [SOLDIER] We may get a meal and we might get more... [CELESTES/SOLDIER] It's certainly fine for Sunday... It's certainly fine for Sunday... It's certainly fine for Sunday... [GEORGE/BOATMAN] You and me, pal We're the loonies Did you know that? Bet you didn't know that [BOATMAN] 'Cause we tell them the truth! Who you drawing? Who the hell you think you're drawing? Me? You don't know me! Go on drawing Since you're drawing only what you want to see Anyway! One eye, no illusion- That you get with two One for what is true One for what suits you Draw your wrong conclusion All you artists do I see what is true... [ENSEMBLE] Taking the day on Sunday After another week is dead [OLD LADY] Nurse! [ENSEMBLE] Getting away on Sunday Brightens the dreary week ahead [OLD LADY] Nurse! [ENSEMBLE] Leaving the city pressure Behind you Off where the air is fresher Where green, blue Blind you