Stephen Sondheim - You're Only As Old As You Look lyrics

(spoken) September 15th, 1955, for Julian Batey Jr., on his 39th birthday (sung) You look flashy, you look sporty You look almost as dashing as Morty Well, you're only as old as you look And you look forty You look blasé, you look nifty But when they ask you your age, you look shifty Well, you're only as old as you look Let me look again: fifty On your ravaged face Are more lines than they say on the stage It's not a sign of sorrow or disgrace It's age! Happy birthday, Jerry Batey! May your problems be less and less weighty Well, you're only as old as you look And you look eighty... five! You're practically alive! Of your in-laws you've a crawful The demands that they make are unlawful Well, you're only as old as you look And you look awful You should feel just like a baby You've decades ahead of you, maybe Well, you're only as old as you feel What's your ulcer like, J.B.? You've a rich, full store Of memories in that brain Won't you tell us your adventures in the war With Spain? You look punchy, you look drowsy The Greeks had a word for it: lousy Well, you're only as old as you look But you can't be as old as all that! Happy birthday! Don't regret it! 'Cause we'll all go right home and forget it Old friend, old pal, Old Faithful, old paint, Old Greenwich Old crow, old shoe, old hat!