Stephen Sondheim - A Bowler Hat lyrics

(Kayama picks up a derby.) [KAYAMA] It's called a bowler hat I have no wife The swallow flying through the sky Is not as swift as I Am, flying through my life You pour the milk before the tea The Dutch amba**ador is no fool I must remember that I wear a bowler hat They send me wine The house is far too grand I've bought a new umbrella stand Today I visited the church beside the shrine I'm learning English from a book Most exciting It's called a bowler hat (Kayama brings out a watch.) It's called a pocket watch I have a wife No eagle flies against the sky As eagerly as I Have flown against my life One smokes American cigars The Dutch amba**ador was most rude I will remember that I wind my pocket watch We serve white wine The house is far too small I k**ed a spider on the wall One of the servants thought it was a lucky sign I read Spinoza every day Formidable Where is my bowler hat? (Kayama puts a monocle to his eye.) It's called a monocle I've left my wife No bird exploring in the sky Explores as well as I The corners of my life One must keep moving with the times The Dutch amba**ador is a fool He wears a bowler hat (Kayama puts on a pair of gla**es.) They call them spectacles I drink much wine I take important pills I have a house up in the hills I've hired British architects to redesign One must accommodate the times As one lives them One must remember that (Kayama holds up a tailcoat.) It's called a cutaway