Stephen Sondheim - Ladies and Gentlemen, A Toast! lyrics

GUITEAU (spoken): Ladies and gentlemen, a toast. To the presidency of the United States. An office, which by its mere existence rea**ures us that the possibilities of life are limitless. An office, the mere idea of which reproaches us when we fall short of being all that we can be. A grand and glorious office to which at least one among us may one day aspire. Ladies and gentlemen, what can I say? Hail to the chief! BOOTH (spoken): You know, you really ought to do something about that stomach ZANGARA (spoken): I do everything about this stomach! BOOTH (spoken): Oh, yes? ZANGARA (spoken): I give up wine, no good. I give up smokes, no good. I quit my work, no good. I move Miami, no good. I take appendix out, no good. Nothing no good. Nothing, nothing, nothing! BOOTH (spoken): Have you considered shooting Franklin Roosevelt? ZANGARA (spoken): You think that help? BOOTH (spoken): It couldn't hurt