Stephen Oremus - Making Things Up Again lyrics

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] And lo, the Lord said unto the Nephites: "I know you're really depressed, what with all your... AIDS...and everything... but there is an answer in Christ." [NABULUNGI, spoken] You see? This book CAN help us! [ELDER CUNNINGHAM] I just told a lie No, wait, I didn't lie I just used my imagination And it worked! [CUNNINGHAM'S FATHER] You're making things up again, Arnold [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] But it worked, Dad! [CUNNINGHAM'S FATHER] You're stretching the truth again And you know it [JOSEPH SMITH] Don't be a Fibbing Fran, Arnold [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] Joseph Smith...? [SMITH, FATHER ] Because a lie is a lie [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] It's not a lie! [MORONI, MORMONS, SMITH, and FATHER:] You're making things up again, Arnold [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] Oh, conscience! [MORONI, MORMONS, SMITH, and FATHER:] You're taking the holy word And adding fiction! Be careful how you proceed, Arnold When you fib, there's a price [MIDDALA, spoken] Ehh, this it bullsh**! The story I have been told is that the way to cure AIDS is by sleeping with a virgin! I'm going to go and rape a baby! [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] What?! Oh my-NO! You can't do that! NO! [MIDDALA, spoken] Why not? [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] Because that is DEFINITELY against God's will! [MIDDALA, spoken] Says who? Where in that book of yours does it say anything about sleeping with a baby, huh? Nowhere! [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] Uhhhh, behold! The Lord said to the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith "You SHALL NOT have s** with that infant!" LO! Joseph said: "Why not, Lord? Huh? Why not?" And the Lord said, "If you lay with an infant, you shall...burn in the fiery pits of Mordor!" [MIDDALA, spoken] Really? [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] Uh-huh... Uh-huh! "A baby cannot cure your illness, Joseph Smith. I shall give unto you... a frog!" And thus: Joseph laid with the frog, and his AIDS was no more! [UGANDANS, spoken] Ohhhhh! [MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and DAD] You're making things up again, Arnold You're recklessly warping The words of Jesus! [HOBBITS] You can't just say what you want, Arnold! [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] Come, on, Hobbits! [ALL] You're digging yourself a deep hole! [ELDER CUNNINGHAM] I'm making things up again, kinda But this time, it's helping A dozen people It's nothing so bad because this time I'm not committing a sin Just by making things up again, right? [ALL] NO! [NABULUNGI, spoken] Elder Cunningham, you have to stop him! [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] What? What is it? [NABULUNGI, spoken] Gotswana is going to cut off his daughter's cli*oris! [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] Huh? [GOTSWANA, spoken] This is all very interesting. But women have to be circumcised if that's what the General wants! [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] No, no, doing that to a lady is definitely against Christ's will! [GOTSWANA, spoken] How do you know? Christ never said NOTHIN' 'bout no cli*oris! [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] YES! YES HE DID! In ancient New York, three men were about to cut off a Mormon woman's...cli*oris. But...right before they did, Jesus had... BOBA FETT turn 'em into FROGS! [GOTSWANA, spoken] Frogs? [ASMERET, spoken] You mean like the frogs that got f**ed by Joseph Smith? [ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken] Right! Right! Like THOSE frogs! For a cli*oris is holy amongst ALL things, said he! [MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS] You're making things up again, Arnold [UGANDANS] We're learning the truth! [MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS] You're taking the holy word And adding fiction! [UGANDANS] The truth about God! [MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS] Be careful how you proceed, Arnold When you fib, there's a price! [UGANDANS] We're going to paradise! [ELDER CUNNINGHAM] Who would have thought I'd have this magic touch? Who'd have believed I could Man up this much? I'm talking, they're listening My stories are glistening I'm gonna save them all With this stuff! [UGANDANS] Ooooh- La [MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS] You're making things up again, Arnold [UGANDANS] Elder Cunningham! [MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS] You're making things up again, Arnold [UGANDANS] Holy prophet man! [MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS] You're making things up again, Arnold [UGANDANS] Our savior! [ELDER CUNNINGHAM] You're making things up again [WIZENED OLD JEDI MASTER] Hmmm, up again, making things, you are [ELDER CUNNINGHAM] Arnold