Stephen Marcussen - Calgone lyrics

On my way home, police car pulled me over After they left, I puttered out of gas Triple-A' came, but my card was expired I had to walk home, and of course, it rained half the time I tried to get some shut-eye, then I was abducted They put cold things in my bu*t They sampled a bit of my D.N.A They left me on top of my sheets I dreamt I went potty, then woke up drenched in me This day s**ed the hardest ever I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today A little bit less than nothing would go my way I got up to toss my soiled sheets The hallway was dark and I stubbed my big toe It was then that I sensed the irony (burning me) Then I heard the voice say Come sail aboard S.S. Nepenthe! I suppose I'm to blame for getting pulled over I guess I'm the culprit for running out of gas Let's a**ume I'm the guy who didn't pay his Triple-A fee In actuality, I let the zetas probe me Yesterday was all my fault I let negativity get the better of me Thank goodness for the bathtubs and suds They temporarily set free this quandary