Stephen Lynch - Beelz lyrics

I figured, since I wrote a song about, you know, God and Jesus and all that, I would have to give the opposition equal time. (menacing voice) Ever since first man has walked this Earth I have been here, To whisper seeds of doubt and evil thoughts into his ear. I am the Beast, the outcast angel, fallen from on high. I go by many names, by there is one you can't deny: (upbeat, flamboyant voice) My name is Satan! Hi, everybody! Ahh, let me tell you a little about myself... My friends all call me Old Scratch, and I am a Capricorn. My turn-ons are romantic walks and k**ing the unborn. I've got little devil horns, and a little goatee, And little devil eyes to help a little devil see, And little cloven hooves make it kinda hard to ski, I'm Satan! Woo hoo! Mephistopheles for some, I dunno... My real name is Beelzebub, but you can call me Beelz. I love to watch Fox News and then go club some baby seals. Then I'll take a bubble bath and drink a Zinfandel, Try to wash off that baby seal smell, And then I'll make a toast to me: Hey, here's to my hell......th My name is Satan! Ah haa! To carry on my evil ways, I went and had a son, And now he makes his living as a singing comedian... I'm in every Zeppelin album, I'm in all Rush Limbaugh's rants, I'm the reason that the Boston Red Sox even had a chance. And if I want to eat your soul, I'll just throw it on a griddle, Don't need to make a deal, I don't need to tell a riddle, And f** Charlie Daniels, I don't care if he can fiddle, I'm Satan. (Charlie Daniels impersonation) Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal... (upbeat, flamboyant voice) This is f**ing bullsh**, because I would not be caught dead in... Georgia! OK? It's like, oh my gawd! Six, six, six! Satan! ... Look. That's just how I picture him. You f**in' think of whatever you want.