Stephen Lynch - Crazy Peanuts lyrics

Crazy Peanuts Charlie Brown had a big blockhead Wore a stripy sweater everyday Tried to kick that football but Lucy always Pulled the motherf**er away Flew a kite just to try to relax But he always put that sh** in a tree And the little redheaded girl Wouldn't give no play to poor Chuck B. They were the baddest f**ers in the funny papers-Peanuts! Onto a security blanket Linus Van Pelt would latch He snuggled into that b**h to keep warm While waiting in the pumpkin patch He had a stalker named Sally Brown Well she always tried to get her some She loved how he knew the meaning of Christmas And the s**y way he s**ed that thumb Watch out, ‘cause here they come…Peanuts! Oh Peanuts! Crazy Peanuts! A bunch of kids trying to be free Take my hand and let's dance now Under Charlie's sh**ty Christmas tree Marci was best friends With Patty Patty Peppermint She would love to do things to that girl That Charles M. Schultz can't print Pigpen was a dusty dude Who couldn't keep his own a** clean All the teachers said Wa wa wa wa Wa wa what does that sh** mean? Watch Out, ‘cause here they come…Peanuts! Oh Peanuts! Crazy Peanuts! They comin' from the school of hard knocks Life's not always bowls of candy Sometimes you just get a bag of rocks Lucy was a psychiatrist But her comments always gave offense And the b**h couldn't make no money ‘Cause she charged a motherf**er five cents You know the ladies loved some Schroeder ‘Cause he played the eighty-eights real good And Franklin was a real cool cat But the only brother in the hood Watch out, ‘cause here they come…Peanuts! Oh Peanuts!! Crazy Peanuts! Poor Charlie Brown you will never get laid It's so hard to get p**y When you're the baldest kid in 2nd grade Oh Peanuts! Crazy Peanuts! A bunch of kids trying to be free Take my hand and let's dance now Under Charlie's sh**ty Christmas tree