Stephen Lynch - Talk to Me (Live) lyrics

I came down to the breakfast table Felt like I could cry *Crowd Yells* *Lynch laughs* Lynch - I haven't even told the f**ing joke yet, now I have to start all over *Sings them fast* I came down to the breakfast table Felt like I could cry I tried so hard, but wasn't able To look you in the eye For I am feeling so much shame Yes I have brought disgrace Could tell I soiled my good name By the look upon your face… Well it seems last night you caught me spanking it No use denying it, I was really cranking it Well dry your eyes and don't be so sad If you could just forgive me, and talk to me dad Talk to me dad Whoo! No I didn't hear you enter, no I didn't hear the door With my hand upon my member and my pants upon the floor Now daddy, I'm ashamed and I completely understand If you never wanna hug again or even shake my hand Well it seems last night you caught me spanking it No use denying it, I was really cranking it Well dry your eyes, don't be so sad But I wouldn't use those tissues, they've already been had Talk to me dad Lynch:Hey there's semen in those tissues everyone They stand up by themselves! The look upon your face made my swollen gland diminish So I said "could you close the door, I really wanna finish." Another 30 seconds and if all had gone as planned You'd would've seen your future grandchildren dripping down my hand Well it seems last night you caught me spanking it No use denying it,well I was really cranking it Well please come down and don't get mad Just because it was your bed, it's not that bad *Lynch tries to scat and fails* Lynch: and I have not clue why I just started scatting there Be Bop dooie yoo!!! When I was only 17 you told me it was dirty So it must be really creepy when you kid is pushing 30 YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Well it seems last night you caught me spanking it No use denying it, I was really cranking it Now dry your eyes, don't be so sad But I wouldn't use those tissues, they've already been… Just because it was your bed, it's not that… Oh daddy, daddy, please forgive me, and talk to me dad Talk to me dad