Stephen Lynch - If I Were Gay lyrics

Here we are dear old friend You and I drunk again Laughs have been had and tears have been shed Maybe the whiskey's gone to my head But if I were gay I would give you my heart And if I were gay You'd be my work of art And if I were gay We would swim in romance But I'm not gay So get your hand out of my pants It's not that I don't care I do I just don't see myself in you Another time another time Another scene I'd be right behind you if you know what I mean 'cause if I were gay I would give you my soul And if I were gay I would give you my whole being And if I were gay We would tear down the walls But I'm not gay So won't you stop cupping my...hand We've never hugged We've never kissed I've never been intimate with your fist You have opened brand new doors Get over here and drop your drawers