Johnny was bashful and shy Nobody understood why Mary loved him All the other girls pa**ed him by Everyone wanted to know How she could pick such a beau With a twinkle in her eye She made this reply "He's not so good in a crowd but when you get him alone You'd be surprised He isn't much at a dance but then when he takes you home You'd be surprised He doesn't look like much of a lover But don't judge a book by it's cover He's got the face of an angel But there's a devil in his eye He's such a delicate thing but when he starts in to squeeze You'd be surprised He doesn't look very strong but when you sit on his knees You'd be surprised At a party or at a ball I've got to admit that he's nothing at all But in a morris chair You'd be surprised" Mary continued to praise Johnny's remarkable ways To the ladies And you know advertising pays Now Johnny's never alone He has the busiest phone Almost every other day A new girl will say "He's not so good in the house but on a bench in the park You'd be surprised He isn't much in the light but when he gets in the dark You'd be surprised I know he looks as slow as the Erie But you don't know the half of it, dearie He looks as cold as an Eskimo But there's fire in his eyes He doesn't say very much but when he starts in to speak You'd be surprised He's not so good at the start but at the end of the week You'd be surprised On a streetcar or in a train You'd think he was born without any brain But in a taxicab, oh boy You'd be surprised"