JASON My father's a h*mo My mother's not thrilled at all Father h*mo: What about chromo-somes? Do they carry? Will they carry? Who's the h*mo now? My father said that one day I'll grow to be president And that idea?s not so wild I don't live the life of a normal child Cause I'm too smart for my own good And I'm too good for my sorry little life My mother's no wife And my fathers no man No man at all TRINA Honey, why don't you go out and play? JASON No TRINA Sweetheart I worry Sweetheart I do I worry a lot I worry a lot I worry a lot I could take you to the Jewish center? JASON (mock throwing up) TRINA I think you like playing chess alone That's not normal JASON What is normal? TRINA I wouldn't know Why don't you speak on the telephone To anyone, just get a friend Anyone Darling, please a psychiatrist He's quite a guy and I admire how he acts No one is saying you're a sick neurotic But you could find some help Hear me out, please Yes, you could find some help He could help you realize How confused you are! Yes, it's very clear Daddy's sincere, but a schmo! You and I must trust our emotions Make no commotions Will you go? JASON No MARVIN Jason, please see a psychiatrist He's just a psychiatrist I'll pay the bill until you're old MARVIN---------------TRINA----------------------JASON Jason, please see-----Darling please listen-------No A psychiatrist.--------to your father here---------I won't go He's just---------------he's not a genius type,-----I will not go A psychiatrist.--------Lord knows, but he I'll pay the bill---------knows whats true Until you're old.-------He chose a man who I ------------------------Think knows the answers ------------------------To all your problems.-------Never, never -----------------------Mendel understands--------never never -----------------------What's bothering you-------never JASON Forget it ALL What a mess this is, this family! Experts can see this is so! Photographs can't capture our magic We're simply tragic! MARVIN AND TRINA Will you go? JASON: No MARVIN AND TRINA Jason, please see a psychiatrist! He's not- JASON I won't say boo! MARVIN AND TRINA Exorbitant, and he's very smart! JASON If intelligence were the only criterion Then I wouldn't really need a psychiatrist, would I? TRINA No JASON Would I? MARVIN No JASON Just because you failed as parents... TRINA ...Get thee to a psychiatrist! MARVIN Ah, hey, kid, listen- JASON I don't need- TRINA AND MARVIN He needs a psychiatrist! JASON I want- TRINA AND MARVIN A psychiatrist! JASON I want to speak with Whizzer! MARVIN Speak with whom? JASON With Whizzer MARVIN With Whizzer? TRINA With Whizzer JASON With Whizzer MARVIN Oh my god TRINA, MARVIN, AND JASON Whizzer! Whizzer! Whizzer! Whizzer! JASON Whizzer, do you think I should see a psychiatrist' WHIZZER I'm not sure, Jason Jason, maybe so Absolutely, Jason JASON ...OK, I'll go WHIZZER He'll go' JASON I'll go TRINA He'll go! JASON If he comes here- MARVIN If he comes here- TRINA He might come here MARVIN They don't make house calls