Alfred: Poor Master Bruce, poor Mr. Wayne Lonely caboose on a one car train And it pains me to watch you amble along This track of loneliness I laid down for you I remember that horrible night, the night you were split in two And I swore I'd protect you, and I haven't So I built a wall all around you, but the wall was too tall And blocked out all of the birds and the sun I tried to raise you right, I tried to raise you proper I tried to be a mentor and a friend, and a mama and a papa too And insulate you from any outside source of fright And make bloody certain that you'll never see another Dark, sad, lonely night Batman: As I look at my life I see something's not right Like a thousand percent And I wonder what it is, how it is that it's always just me here Crying alone at the end of the night, ten thousand percent Put most of the blame on Alfred How come he couldn't take the bullet intended for mama and papa? I never had a pony, I never had pets Just a bullsh** butler, who builds bullsh** jets Oh! I'm falling apart, I need a friend Somebody to hold on to, somebody to confide in Think of the children, next time you gun down their mama and papa Their only mama and papa Because they probably don't have another mama and papa I was seein' a girl for a while, a couple days anyway And I told her I loved her She said you're such a good friend and that rash is bad You should really go see a doctor Then she just disappeared, sent me some text about bad timing And my love being selfish Then my doctor called up and the blood came back and as it turns out I'm allergic to peanuts and shellfish I loved peanuts and shellfish once I'm falling apart, I'm lacking punch I can barely eat, this morning I barely touched my brunch Two spoons of oatmeal, a couple of nuts, and half a banana And like my soul, the banana was bruised and black I'm falling apart, I need a friend Somebody to hold on to, somebody to confide in Somebody to ride in the co*kpit Co-captain of the friendship ship Or maybe just a friend ship If I had a buddy, we could discuss Just what we call friendship I want to be somebody's buddy Somebody who can be my buddy back I want to be somebody's buddy Anybody but a dumbsh** butler Batman and Superman: I want to be somebody's buddy Somebody who can be my buddy back I want to be somebody's buddy Batman: Anybody but a bumbling butler Batman, Superman, Green Lantern: I want to be somebody's buddy Somebody who can be my buddy back I want to be somebody's buddy Batman: Anybody but a bumbling butler Batman, Superman, Green Lantern: (Chrous:) (Overlapping) I want to be somebody's buddy (I want to be, I want to be, I want to be, I want to be) Somebody who can be my buddy back (Somebody's buddy back) I want to be somebody's buddy (I want to be, I want to be, I want to be, I want to be) Batman: Anybody but a dumbsh** butler Batman, Superman, Green Lantern: (Chrous:) (Overlapping) I want to be somebody's buddy (I want to be, I want to be, I want to be, I want to be) (Bud-buddy, buddy. Bud-buddy, buddy) Somebody who can be my buddy back (Somebody's buddy back) (Bud-buddy, buddy. Bud-bud...) I want to be somebody's buddy (I want to be, I want to be, I want to be, I want to be) (Bud-buddy, buddy. Bud-buddy, buddy) Batman: (Chrous:) (Overlapping) Anybody but a dumbsh** butler (Bud-buddy, buddy. Bud-bud...) Batman, Superman, Green Lantern: (Chorus:) (Overlapping) I want to be somebody's buddy (I want to be, I want to be, I want to be, I want to be) (Bud-buddy, buddy. Bud-buddy, buddy) ((Somebody, somebody)) Somebody who can be my buddy back (Somebody's buddy back) (Bud-buddy, buddy. Bud-bud...) ((Somebody, by my friend)) I want to be somebody's buddy (I want to be, I want to be, I want to be, I want to be) (Bud-buddy, buddy. Bud-buddy, buddy) ((Somebody, somebody)) Batman: (Chorus:) (Overlapping) Anybody but a bumbling butler (Bud-buddy, buddy. Bud-bud...) ((Somebody, anybody, by my friend)) Batman, Superman, Green Lantern: (Chorus:) (Overlapping) I want to be somebody's buddy (I want to be, I want to be, I want to be, I want to be) (Bud-buddy, buddy. Bud-buddy, buddy) ((Somebody, somebody)) Somebody who can be my buddy back (Somebody's buddy back) (Bud-buddy, buddy. Bud-bud...) ((Somebody, by my friend)) I want to be somebody's buddy (I want to be, I want to be, I want to be, I want to be) (Bud-buddy, buddy. Bud-buddy, buddy) ((Somebody, somebody)) Batman: (Chorus:) (Overlapping) Anybody but a dumbsh** butler (Bud-buddy, buddy. Bud-bud...) ((Somebody, anybody, by my friend)) Batman, Superman, Green Lantern: I want to be somebody's buddy Somebody who can be my buddy back Batman: I want to be somebody's buddy