Stackridge - The Volunteer lyrics

When I was younger I used to wonder If I would sail across the sea Dressed like a soldier And sleep beneath the trees Schooldays were contemptible Me girlfriend sported boils Though rarely far presentable Me hair was kept well oiled Now I've got whiskers size ten blisters Sgt Major Busby has a phonograph He entertains his fellow men with tea He often bellows dirty words His waxed mustache is quite absurd Ain't it barmy join the Army "Hands off co*ks and on wiv socks!" He said to me The very first day I joined the volunteers And though it sounds remarkable I'm stationed in Sebastapol What a caper bless my maker When I was younger I used to wonder If I would sail across the sea Dressed like a soldier And sleep beneath the trees Cause lately it's debatable if I'm alive and well Me thirst has been insatiable Like a banshee out of hell Now I've got bunions big as onions Colonel Upshot Baggley wears a petticoat (No he don't, No he don't) He entertains his fellow men with tea Often finding light relief With a red face batman underneath Ain't it barmy join the army "Hands off co*ks and on wiv socks!" He said to me The very first day I joined the volunteers And though it sounds remarkable I'm stationed in Sebastapol What a caper bless my maker Private 89436271 received his final discharge yesterday The only thing he said to me was "Don't go sleeping under trees!" Ain't it baaarmy