Stackridge - Benjamin's Giant Onion lyrics

In Beeding-on-Wold a sight to behold Is Benjamins overgrown onion plant It's taken him years and gallons of tears Producing an onion so grand Some men sail across the ocean in a tug Risk life and limb for no one Some men bounce around in spacesuits on the moon But Ben grows onions instead Come rain or come shine he spends all his time And energy nursing his pride and joy The lady next door can't stand any more It's driving her out of the neighbourhood Now Ben's life is ruled by onions (What a shame!) His clothes they reek of fertiliser All his family are leaving (Fancy that!) But Ben is blind to it all Take care my friends the onion doesn't get you in the end Take heed from Ben onions sent him right round the bend Take care my friends the onion doesn't get you in the end (Be very very careful) Take heed from Ben onions sent him right round the bend Benjamins' days are happy they say His onions grow down on the funny farm Come rain or come shine he spends all his time And energy nursing his pride and joy Now he's lost in conversation with his friends All alone in the greenhouse And Doctors say "Quite frankly he's insane!" Just then the onions arose ........