At words poetic, I'm so pathetic That I always have found it best Instead of getting 'em off my chest To let 'em rest unexpressed I hate parading my serenading As I'll probably miss a bar But if this ditty is not so pretty At least it'll tell you How great you are You're the top! You're the Coliseum You're the top! You're the Louvre Museum You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss You're a Bendel bonnet A Shakespeare's sonnet You're Mickey Mouse You're the Nile You're the Tower of Pisa You're the smile on the Mona Lisa I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top! Your words poetic are not pathetic On the other hand, babe, you shine And I can feel after every line A thrill divine Down my spine Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans Might think that your song is bad But I got a notion I'll second the motion And this is what I'm going to add; You're the top! You're Mahatma Gandhi You're the top! You're Napoleon Brandy You're the purple light Of a summer night in Spain You're the National Gallery You're Garbo's salary You're cellophane You're sublime You're turkey dinner You're the time, the time of a Derby winner I'm a toy balloon that's fated soon to pop But if, baby, I'm the bottom You're the top! You're the top! You're an arrow collar You're the top! You're a Coolidge dollar You're the nimble tread Of the feet of Fred Astaire You're an O'Neill drama You're Whistler's mama! You're Camembert You're a rose You're Inferno's Dante You're the nose On the great Durante I'm just in a way As the French would say, "de trop" But if, baby, I'm the bottom You're the top! You're the top! You're a dance in Bali You're the top! You're a hot tamale You're an angel, you Simply too, too, too diveen You're a Botticelli You're Keats You're Shelly! You're Ovaltine! You're a boom You're the dam at Boulder You're the moon Over Mae West's shoulder I'm the nominee of the G.O.P Or GOP! But if, baby, I'm the bottom You're the top! You're the top! You're a Waldorf salad You're the top! You're a Berlin ballad You're the boats that glide On the sleepy Zuider Zee You're an old Dutch master You're Lady Astor You're broccoli! You're romance You're the steppes of Russia You're the pants, on a Roxy usher I'm a broken doll, a fol-de-rol, a blop But if, baby, I'm the bottom You're the top!