Squeeze - It's Not Cricket lyrics

(difford/tilbrook) Warning: these lyrics are unconfirmed and may be inaccurate. they represent the best attempt at deciphering the song we have yet to see. She used to do a topless down at the surrey docks With ta**els on her whatsits she did a t'riffic job Of raising all the eyebrows of every lunchtime mob She went with all the tossers who kick about a ball They say their club's the greatest, and she has kissed them all At the arndale center, she's up against the wall I can't name names cause that's not cricket I can't name names that would put me in it But that's another story in the finish I saw them at the pictures a tangled heap of love He had so many women, but only cla**y stuff I saw him at the clinic, a pink card up his cuff One holiday in bognor a stag night hit the town The groom is in the car park with his trousers down But that's another story that won't be going round I can't name names cause that's not cricket I can't name names that would put me in it But that's another story in the finish The deptford had a beano to southend for the night With 40 crates of lager, to see the southend lights The got home for their breakfast pissed out of their minds This girl gave me the minces so i asked her for a dance And in the d**h i kissed her and so i took a chance And when i went to touch her, she tried to break my arm I can't name names cause that's not cricket I can't name names that would put me in it But that's another story in the finish