How come all the best athletes Had the poshest kits While the slow, fat, thin, and spotty ones Had shorts that didn't fit? They never lingered in the changing rooms With a home-made note Or batted only once Before they got caught And how come all the sporty types Were the first to grow breasts? They had Marks & Sparks bras I squirmed in a vest Never wore their sisters' shorts With the wrong initial Or limped back from cross-country Two hours behind schedule And how come they said That games were fun? If you want the truth Ask the ones that never won