Music by elton john Lyrics by tim rice In life one has to face a huge a**ortment Of nauseating fads and good advice There's health and fitness, diet and deportment And other pointless forms of sacrifice Conversation, wit, i am a doubter Manners, charm, they're no way to impress So forget the inner me, observe the outer I am what i wear and how i dress Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere, ooh Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere, ooh Now i believe in looking like my time on earth is cooking Whether polka-dotted stripes or even checks With some glamour guaranteeing every fiber of my being Is displayed to quite remarkable effects From your cradle via trousseau to your d**h bed you're on view so Never compromise accept no substitute I would rather wear a barrel than conservative apparel A dress has always been my strongest suit Staying in or hitting townwards, from the top and working downwards I ensure that every stitch is stitched in time Whether wig or hat or turban, whether clad boudoir or urban Not to strut your stuff outrageously's a crime And the few who are invited to my wardrobe are delighted As they wander through my things to find en route That in negligee or formal i am anything but normal A dress has always been my strongest suit Now you don't need a recital of the reasons why its vital That tonight i simply have to look my best That from coronet to sandal no one else is worth a candle That i couldn't make more impact if i'm dressed So bring me out my finest, most audacious, my divinest Most revealing, most expensive and to boot Most arresting, most heart-stopping, most free-flowing, most eye-popping A dress has always been my strongest suit