[Introduction: Television Host] Our next guest is a world-renowned recording artist with a great head of hair and a unique fan base that spans the globe. In some corners of the Earth, he's affectionately referred to as the Portuguese Eagle, the Tijuana Sunset, African Lightning, and Armenian Gold. And folks, I, I gotta tell you, if this whole music thing doesn't work out, this kid has a great future as a luxury shampoo spokesman (audience laughter). Making his debut on American network television, please join me in welcoming the remarkable Speak [Introduction: Speak] Westside, Art Goon, Craigslist k**er Westside, Art Goon, Craigslist k**er Westside, Art Goon, Craigslist k**er Westside, Art Goon, Craigslist k**er [Verse 1] Son of a gun, I guess my father was a bayonet Ambien will keep me calm, I pop 'em like they Raisinets I'm bumping ravenets so loudly up on my ca**ettes I love 'em, leave' em, f** 'em, never call Now they get upset What the f** is popping? They say that Speak is popping Air Force Ones laced up, okay, I get to stomping I swear to God, I could've been a St. Lunatic Got all the pretty m**m girls on my Jewish dick Praise be to Allah, Based God, and Jesus And the eco-friendly hoochies whipping in the Prius They call me an elitist and my attitude is co*ky But rapping just a hobby, I'm the Sheikh of Abu Dhabi [Pre-Hook 1] So bring me all your oil, bring me all your gold And wipe your f**ing feet when you step in my abode I know you make the rules, but my people don't abide And if you want to die, okay, I'm happy to oblige [Hook] Gas in the dash and my b**h riding shotty I'm 'bout to live forever in my bulletproof Denali (Even if you k** me!) In my bulletproof Denali (I ain't ever gonna die!), in my bulletproof Denali Gas in the dash and my b**h riding shotty I'm 'bout to live forever in my bulletproof Denali (Even if you k** me!) In my bulletproof Denali (I ain't ever gonna die!), in my bulletproof Denali [Bridge] Westside, Art Goon, Craigslist k**er Westside, Art Goon, Craigslist k**er Westside, Art Goon, Craigslist k**er Westside, Art Goon, Craigslist k**er [Verse 2] Son of a b**h, I guess my momma was a Saint Bernard I'm all about the pervert life, okay, my dick is always hard I feel like Ma$e when he was dancing in the shiny suits If I cut my wrists tonight, I'd bleed one-hundred-ninety proof Bluetooth headsets while I'm having s** I'm on a conference call, I'm busting nuts, I'm getting checks I'm checking for the chubby girls, but now I need a MILF With tubes tied, they don't need the morning-after pill Morning after k**s, my blunt is filled with daffodils They ask me why I'm rapping still, well, Sony owe me half a mill They say I'm next to blow, but my music need a plan But rapping just a hobby, I'm the emperor of Japan [Pre-Hook 2] So bring me all your geishas and my kimono robe And bow your f**ing head when you step in my abode I know you make the rules, but my people don't abide And if you want to die, okay, I'm happy to oblige [Hook]