Come hither all ye brave and we'll tell you a tale Of a fat pommy boy called William Dreamt one night of a far-away place A wise man with a sun-dried face A long time ago in Africa There lived a mystical, magical wilderyak There was darkness in the land, and we thought it was slain It's your destiny to ease our pain So he sailed his bathtub across the sea To the land of the lion and zucchini Shipwrecked off the coast of Tunisia He had to trade his pants for food (how rude!) Naked he trekked through the deep dark bush Pursued by the jackal, hyena and such Morale was down, tears on his chest For he feared he had failed his quest Searching and searching, I hope I will find This yak is the beast of my dreams Visions oh visions these stories in mind I hope I will find it this year (This year I will find him) Backwards he went down the road that he'd travelled Over deserts and valleys, mountains and seas Threw in the towel, turning back home But a rustle in the bushes so he froze! Could it be the yak he sought? For bounding through the bushes a beast came forth A wondrous sight, a splendour to behold The trees parted and a cow approached! Searching and searching I think I have found The beast of my dreams is a cow Weary so weary, it all seems futile Perhaps the old man was senile! As he entered the village, he knew the time was near Sweat poured down as he cowered with fear He led the beast forth, thinking that he'd failed For surely they weren't fools and the truth would prevail Descended on the village, the crickets chirped Shocked looks as they beheld his lowly offering The tribesman smiled, "my son, you've done us proud" And this is where our story ends!