In my home and on my couch Lies a girl she's oh so dull I've tried to ask her where she's from She doesn't remember No she doesn't care She wears my clothes And laughs at her own jokes She writes silly poems in my palms She drinks my wine And spits on my floor Cuts her toenails in my bed Though I hate her I have to confess I am envious I am jealous She love to cry To Ricki Lake She orders pizza And let's me pay Her topless lifestyle's Just too much But without me She just couldn't be I'm her best friend She always says Though she keeps forgetting My real name I must hate her But I must admit She is something I wish I were