Soul Khan - Soul Khan vs Dirtbag Dan lyrics

[Round 1: Soul Khan] Now he got the better beard, that won't crush my pride Cause his woman always hits me up for mustache rides Now I let her sit on my face, but the thought unnerves me Cause I heard she just got herpes from Jeff Foxworthy Now you're Mexican which most people don't really acknowledge Except the drivers of the cars that you squeegee and polish Well here's something that'll leave him feeling demolished He a one minute man, chicks call him "Speedy Gonzales" Now, the idea of you ever claiming La Raza Is like Matisyahu saying he's Rasta Lord have mercy Now, y'all don't wanna see me getting violent on this p**y Looking like he just tossed a salad of a Wookie Hold on, front like you ain't offended, we know it tortures ya But no one's forcing ya to look like a homeless sorcerer Now, whether Hispanic or cracker I just abracadabra'd yo' wackiest rapper into a shaggy cadaver And Dan don't even mind if I put him in a f**ing urn As long as I bury him with his favorite bu*ter churn [Round 2: Dirtbag Dan] You see, I like you Khan, I feel like the two of us are friends But right now it's pa**ion of the Christ 2: Jesus Gets Revenge What are Jew gonna do? And on that topic I got a couple questions Like, how do you get gifts for eight days and still ain't got no presence/presents? How could you live, never knowing how good bacon wrapped steak taste? And how do you feel about rolling into an IRA at the current 401K rate? You'll get that later Now I used to date this Jewish chick who liked to polish the tip Gave her the option mostly, she could either swallow or spit Now she always chose the latter and I figured you'd know since you're a fairy Does taking a load in the mouth really count as mixing meat with your dairy? I KNEW that b**h was lying to me Aww sh** You need to chill out We still doubt any real clout Plus you look like Milhouse, filled out, with his beard filled out [Round 2: Soul Khan] He talked about Hanukkah that's a festival of lights His chick gives me eight presents, she s**ed a testicle a night Now, motherf**ers count my quotes say I'm sick as Ebola You hang with mountain goats while you singing, "Ricola!" He's a deep throater, I make this he/she stop It ain't hard for Weapon X to k** ZZ Top When if that CD flops, he'll get charged with reckless anger And drop a thug record, Crip Walker: Texas Ranger And all his barnyard animals are weary and displeased Cause to you, Swine Flu is a venereal disease Yo, and you from the home of Google, no one cares you goofy ba*tard I'm from the Valley, home of p**no, the only reason Google matters And in your battle with Illusion there wasn't a clear winner You ain't really beat him, he lost to your beard trimmer Homie face the simple fact that when you lack a fitted cap You'se a dead ringer for the head singer of Nickleback He never made it as a Dirtbag! [Round 2: Dirtbag Dan] Are Jew serious? Jew gotta be kidding me All you eat is Jujubees, you favorite X-Men is Jubilee You're into Juicy Juice, Juicy Fruit and diamond j**elry I'm winning this battle so there ain't no way you're Jewing me Now that I got the Jew jokes out of my system It's time to focus on this b**h and how he got to his position Now if it's not clear why Soul Khan is top tier Is cause he battles folks on the east coast and not here Use your common sense I can win with compliments, like, "It must be nice smelling food cooked on different continents." Or Soul's got the sk** to nerd out for real Telling women, "I won't f** ya, but I'll build a robot that will." [Round 3: Soul Khan] Now if you ever blow up, how anybody gon' be seeing ya? Ain't you heard? Jews run the media Cause whatever he puts his tracks on I'm like, "Damn it turn that trash off." Whenever they put my wax on, Daniel son wacks off We both anglo saxon but truly different kinds This man puts his slacks on one coochie lip at a time Yo, I even got the chance to see him rock a live show Everybody told me Dan had that bonified flow But as he touched the stage I was disgusted and amazed When he started line dancing to Cotton Eyed Joe Then he said I could stay at his place, I was like, "Dawg, that's too fresh." He said he was living large like 2Mex But then the truth hit me like a hardcore suplex This motherf**er brought to a cardboard duplex Yo, I'm a Cali native graduated from North Hollywood High He think he a San Jose Shark just cause he swallowed some guys Ain't no way to match my verse soon as I get started And to make matters worse Dan...I just farted [Round 3: Dirtbag Dan] That was a gay display, I should sock you in the face Instead, I think I'll do you like Ok' did Jace Tiny face You ain't got no Soul, Khan I will leave you on the ground underneath my soles Khan I bet your boyfriend abuses you, wearing leather Your crew's a Rubix Cube, just a bunch of squares together You got a Battlestar Galactica box set And rock sets dressed like a bunch of Storm Troopers and Boba Fett Picture this, what Khan calls "marital bliss" Is a Star Wars wedding hosted by MC Chris Him and his mans say "mazel tov", stomp the gla** Watching matching movie quality Chewbacca masks What you acting like a herb for? You know your music is "nerdcore" Which is the same reason you're dirt poor Really? f**ing with Dan is a mistake You missed a patch on your face That's a f**ed up shave [Round 4 (OT): Soul Khan] Yo, now will overtime help this ba*tard here survive? Nah, I got it covered like the wagon that he drives The way he spits makes me think this marks a fan of dying Cause the bars that Dan supplying is hard as dandelions He used to paint his nail black to pick up suicide girls Now he's f**ing with me? That's just suicide girl I seen your crew's indie film, it should've stayed on the shelf But this battle is like your movie, you just playing yourself And I'd talk more about your heritage but I have to restrict it Cause the debate on immigration has little Daniel conflicted His Mexican side is like saying, "Hey, we just trying to push our crops." While his white side screaming, "They took our jobs!" Yo, that's a mighty thick beard, he get it from his mama If Thunder Hut was Wu-Tang, you'd be Cappadonna And if anybody thinks this match doesn't feel fair now Just wait til I leave Lieutenant Dan wheelchair bound [Round 4 (OT): Dirtbag Dan] I can't believe, you little internet f**s think I'm weird Your beard has autographed posters of my beard Every single hair on your ugly beard prays That it dies and comes back to life growing on my face This is a testiment to manliness, that's some baby sh** I use a buck knife to shave, he uses a lady Bic I bet it's pink too You look like you dipped your face in glue and went down on a bunch of hairy dudes you fairy Jew Look, your boy Dan ain't a burly guy but in a fistfight you'd surely die I'm just curious why you ain't got a top hat and sideburns like a curly fry And everyone in Oakland knows my flows will leave you comatose You could walk into a brick wall a** naked with a bo*er and get a broken nose