Sophomooreik - Myndstate. lyrics

I am nothing but a speck of paint on the blank canvas of life In the gallery of the universe where it hangs in my sight I've distanced myself I might admire it like I find it quite nice Then slash the canvas with my hands wrapped around the handles of knives That's f**ing life's life up for damaging mine In other words without destruction this is bland, I survive By creating slices in my reality till I actually find A way to easily, as a whole, manage it I'm Not...good Sitting here like "How does my mind work?" Stuck in the darkness so I search For the light But when I find it I stare at it till my eyes hurt Now I'm always seeing darkness Like I'm blind I guess... too much of a good thing will k** ya Still ya Chase waterfalls hoping it will fill the Black hole in your soul you know won't heal by itself You think maybe it's your genes holding you down like your needing a belt So without thinking twice or pleading for help You pack your bags up and proceed to flee from yourself That sh** isn't healthy Believe it or not All you need is to stop Believing it's the easiest option And that if you ignore it for long enough it'll go away That's like getting cut and just praying that the bleeding will stop Instead of bandaging it up But sh** why listen to me? You scream at the screen like "sh**! I've had it, enough!" Take a blade to take the pain away but panicked you cut One of your main arteries and as you stand in your blood You claim I just wanted to be easing the pain But now the light of day is something you won't be seeing again But I ain't saying that I'm always up and rearing to go Cause my fear is that no One will remember me being here when I'm ghost And... d**h is on my mind 24/7 Patiently waiting for heaven Basically pacing and stressing But I don't wanna die sh**, if I did it would only take me a second Go to the kitchen open a drawer and place a blade to my neck and ...Question Where were u when the person you once knew died? I thought I k**ed him, he convinced me to do crime Afterwards, I thought I would happily be given a new mind But I'm locked up in my old mind my brain cells is where I do time Still they're telling me that sh**s great But you would know that sh** ain't if your mind was in this place Always acting like a dickhead unil I realised my own medicine has a sh** taste ...What is real though? I'd kick the bucket if the shoe fits and if the shoe was steel toed I still don't Know what I got Yeah, a lot on my mind but I'm not minding a lot I wanna feel the fear of flying then drop Still wanna feel the tears from crying and not Disappear Cause that's what being human is Been alive for like 16 years and I still haven't got used to it Always on edge I avoid to try relaxing myself Fell off the edge tried to keep my mind state intact as I fell Landed on the battlefield wasn't acting very tactical hell I'm going to war , load up a gun and point it back at myself They tell me to stay safe but I ain't about that cautious malark Yeah life's a b**h but not one I'd take for a walk in the park Imma put her down cause there's not a lot I like About her They say that opposites attracted but sanity is not my type So slowly but surely I lost my mind like Where's your head at Looked at my reflection in a shattered mirror and a pair of soulless eyes stared back I'm scared that I will never know who I is Myself knows Me but he doesn't really like him I know, I am at the point of no return because now myself I hate But am I defined by the bad decisions that I make I keep going, trying to ignore all of the signs, great! But I know it's a one way street I have to drive down to escape Myndstate