Solitary Experiments - A Rush Of Ecstasy lyrics

I should have known it with the first indication As a hint that it already has begun To figure out that the first cut was the deepest I should have known it right from the start It's getting worse and the pain has become stronger At the first time still everything was fun It ended up in a strange behaviour It's just a calm before the storm Suddenly my heart starts to bleed a rush of ecstasy Silently sometimes I hurt myself I should have known that the guilt leads to depression Nobody knows but I feel insecure Somehow it seems I was consumed by hatred I should have known it but now it's too late One thousand words cannot describe the hunger Inside my mind where everything went wrong All of these scars remind me to my weakness It's just the point of no return Suddenly my heart starts to bleed a rush of ecstasy Silently sometimes I hurt myself