Social Repose - Truce lyrics

I'm calling it quits just like how i didn't call you when my facade came crashing down I've been walking on eggshells but lately they're starting to crack and look more like bombshells But not the kind of subpar bombshells that broke us But the kind that end lives and yet somehow we keep on living in this back and forth hell that keeps us bound together like two parasites trying to devour each other And i never ranted about you because that's like bringing a sword to a gunfight and I know that bullet would travel straight through the place where all thosе good memories of you and i lay So i'll stay inside I don't want to play thеse games I don't want to do this I don't want to dance around you anymore I know it wasn't a mistake because I can only trip and fall so many times Before the floor feels Like a place of comfort When i finished with another woman for the first time all i could think is fu*k not again Not this time Not like this She's too special and i'm really excited about her but god dammit im such a coward And i clearly can't hold onto the things worth holding onto and for that i'll never forgive myself But what would be enough to earn your forgiveness? should i make peace with the world and stop teasing everyone And kill myself? that's not a threat it's a legitimate honest question Because through all my introspection I've realized that the only way to heal is in time and self reflection itself And everytime i hear you yelling at me for saying your name at a distance All i hear is the pain in the timbre of your voice in between those words You told me to never write about you but some promises i clearly can't keep And you can make fun of my art and the way i express myself but honestly It's the only way i know how to make myself a better man, or at least try to be And if that means writing songs about you then i'll do it But those songs aren't really about you They're about the idea of you And about my perception of you And all the things i ultimately could never give you And i know everyone's tired of hearing about this but sometimes i need catharsis to wipe the slate clean and find a place in between the black and white because there's color there And this might be the end for us but i know you're still hurting and i'm not helping by using the pain as a personal epiphone But it's much easier to be angry and convince yourself that nothing was ever there Than to hurt and to feel that pain But pour yourself another glass of wine and rant whenever i say your name or elude to the fact that we existed together at some point in time But don't you ever say i didn't love you because love comes in many different shapes and forms and mine was just more difficult to see but i did adore you, whether you believe me or not And hearing about my antics like giving away your love scribbles might hurt But it's just an anonymous exercise in the context of sadness and emotion And don't try to do to me what we did to onision It's not worth it i promise And when they say i capitalize on your misery well then i guess every breakup song is a lie under the artifice of love But i know you and i don't want to do this anymore with the streams, indirects and everything in between so i'm calling for a truce My intent was never to make permanence seem more permanent but to express myself and i'm sorry if that sounds like i'm trying to be petty because i'm not And that's about all ive got I know i can't fix what i've done to you but i hope the money from that ring Can start to fill that void But i don't want to start a war i dont want to fight anymore Im sorry i hurt you And i hope you can accept my apology